“As Christ does for you, help carry each other’s burdens and
troubles." ~ Galatians 6:2
Every year, when winter starts to
drag and they wanted to more activity than simply walking to and from classes,
Tim and some friends burned a little energy by cheering on their high school
basketball team. Screaming and cheering
was good for a few calories they reasoned.
When the Warrior’s captain swished a 3-pointer to take an
improbable lead, a younger girl in front of them jumped to her feet. She threw her hands skyward. Faded scars ran down the length of one arm; small
cuts veered across the large vein on her hand. She quickly jerked down her sleeve.
While self-injury can be a squeamish topic, Tim knew it was
an important one. He had no training, no
experience, no morbid curiosity - just a caring heart and grace-fueled
courage. He waited until they were
leaving the gym after a disappointing overtime loss and approached the girl.
"How long have you been cutting?" he asked
quietly.
She gazed into his soul, liquid eyes seeking acceptance or
at least some refuge of understanding.
She motioned toward a more secluded area and slowly raised
her sleeve. It revealed the map of
emotional pain. "I've never told
anyone before," she said. "I'm
only talking to you because you didn't freak out.
Tim learned over burgers and cokes, that Ally was a ‘cutter.’
Publicly she had everything together. But inwardly she was a boiling cauldron of
stress, family dysfunction and unresolved agony that had erupted into self-mutilation. He listened empathically without
interrupting.
“At first it was just safety pins,” Ally revealed. “But like other addictions, the cuts needed
to be sharper and deeper to obtain the same level of relief.”
In the beginning, the external scars were a visual catharsis
that represented the internal wounding her family had inflicted. But now Ally suffered at the point of utter
desperation.
Eventually the two became friends. Tim helped Ally find a Christian counselor
skilled at unlocking the root of her struggles and helping her deal with stress
in a healthy way.
Ally’s not alone. In
fact, Teen Vogue recently called cutting “the new anorexia.” Chances are, you personally know someone who
self-injures.
Cutting is more than a stress relief, it is a cry for help. But the question is - what are you going to
do about it? You don’t need formal
training, just a caring ear.
This week, pay careful attention to the conversations and
encounters you have with your friends. If they seem to be disengaged or have drastic
mood swings, it may indicate a problem.
It may be an opportunity to engage them in discussions about
the love of Jesus and the healing that comes through the Gospel. God ain’t afraid of the tough stuff.
Healing Lord, please ease my pain. Take all my rejection, despair, loneliness, anger,
frustration, and sorrow away. Have Your
blood cleanse my heart and help me see the love, joy, and acceptance that You
have for me. Amen
