Cyber Sadness

“Just punishment isn’t pleasant but it results in growth of character." ~ Hebrews 12:11

On her last day of life, Maci walked through a cauldron of social torment.  The pretty, brown-haired, high school junior appeared normal enough, but inside she quivered from humiliation.

Girls had been giving her looks and guys had congregated around phones, smirking.  Messages were filling her inbox, each one delivering another gut punch.

She wished the earth would open up and swallow her whole.  But there was no rescue from this embarrassment; it was unforgiving.   She cut most classes for the previous three days, hoping to avoid clashes with disapproving girlfriends.

At lunchtime, Maci texted her mom at work: "Mom, please pick me up."  Sandy asked why and whether she could wait until her business meeting ended.  But Maci was adamant.

When Sandy pulled into the parking lot, Maci hopped in but remained silent for the short drive home.  Sandy was used to her 16-year-old daughter's moods and didn’t press her.

At home Maci immediately retreated to her bedroom.  Twenty minutes or so passed before Sandy decided to check on her daughter.  She knocked but Maci didn't answer.

Sheila knocked again, harder.

Something about the silence ignited panic inside her.  Flinging the door open, she confronted the sight now permanently etched in her memory.  In the cheery-yellow bathroom, her only child hung from a belt attached to the shower head, mascara streaking her face.

The brown-eyed girl who loved dogs, books and shenanigans had committed suicide.  Weeks earlier she’d sexted a topless photo of herself to her boyfriend.  Last Friday when they broke up, he sent the photo to everyone else at their school.

Her adoring mother never knew the full extent of her daughter’s anguish until it was too late.

Research shows that as many as half of all teens engage in sexting prior to age 18.  Sending sexually explicit content is viewed as a normal way to interact with their peers.  They don’t see anything wrong with it, especially if they believe “everyone’s doing it.”

TEENS – wake up!

Sending sexually charged pictures and messages can have serious consequences.  Sexting explicit photos online of any minor is unlawful.  Online messages with sexual content can expose you to pedophiles, kidnappers, and strangers who can cause you harm.  It also puts you at risk for blackmail and bullying.  And aside for the legal and cyberbullying risks, photos like these never go away and destroy reputations.

PARENTS – it’s your responsibility!  The computer and cell phone your child is using is yours and you have the right and responsibility to supervise not only what your child is doing, but with whom.  It’s important to follow the threads of your child’s online activity, so that you keep them engaged in age-appropriate, healthy activities.

Lord, please guide their footsteps as they walk on their own.  Give them courage as peers try to lead them down evil paths.  And finally, give me the patience to be a good example when they test every part of me.  Amen

Grace Filled Reunion

“The only key to heaven's gate is love; carry it in your heart, let it be the power that keeps you safe and well." ~ Unknown

Sam had feared death all his life, never ready to check out.   For him there would always be tomorrow and the day after.  But there came a time when all of his older friends had passed on and a fair number of the younger ones too.  Time was no longer his casual friend.

He’d been a hospice patient for about two months.   At 90 years old, Sam was in the end stages of congestive heart failure.  With heart muscle that doesn't pump blood as well as it should, patients are very weak, tired, and short of breath.  They fear not getting enough oxygen into their lungs.

Caring for them requires a great deal of know-how . . . and patience  . . . and compassion, gifts given freely by Bryan his hospice caregiver.  Once the symptoms of pain, fear, and anxiety were openly addressed, Sam and his loving wife Barbara were both able to relax and be at peace for the first time in a long while.

Bryan might sing show tunes with Sam, talk about the Tigers, share a favorite TV show or help compile “final projects” or “life reviews.”  Bryan helped provide the most basic of life’s needs, a hand to hold or an ear to listen.

He and Barbara were sitting at Sam’s bedside one grey afternoon when Sam awoke suddenly and sat straight up.  Pointing to a seemingly empty chair across the room, he looked at Barbara and said in a clear, strong voice, “Mother is calling," is all he said, so softly it was almost inaudible against the hum of the oxygen machine in the room.

His wife touched his arm softly, "then go to her my darling."   What she said next was lost in an uncontrolled sob.

Sam closed his eyes.

From a blinding white light came his mother, a young woman again, extending her hand.  She smiled and his heart stopped for the second time that day.  He reached forward to clasp it, his earthly limbs staying motionless.  The sounds of crying grew fainter and he found himself in a perfect place.  Through a tunnel formed by sugar maple trees sat every loved one who had passed on already.  Sam was whole, he was healthy again.  All the burdens of his life had been washed away.  Birds sang into the boundless Elysian Fields.  His mother embraced him.

“Mom, is this heaven?” Sam asked.

“It is now,” was her adoring reply.

“He’s gone Barbara,” Bryan said in a calming voice.  “Can there be anything more beautiful than a grace filled reunion?  He’s home again, in the arms of a loving God.”

Lord, in heaven we’re wrapped in Your perfect love, walking hand in hand with Jesus upon pristine sands.  Your forgiveness is perfect; You take away the sins of our lives, all traces of judgment gone, eternal salvation for those who believe.  Thank You

Just Another Lonely Boy

“You're better off to have a friend than to be all alone." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9

Some people revel in the sensory calm that isolation brings, and the creativity it can inspire.  For Connor, being alone was a nightmare worse than death.  With nothing to do and no one to talk to, his deepest fears clawed at the base of his throat, hastening the gentle thud of a lonely heart.

He checked his phone (again).  No messages.  They were online though, he could see that.

Barely 19, Connor lived on the 7^th floor of the oldest dorm on campus.  He stared out across the University’s broad expanse.   The day was cold and forbidding.  Outside he could only see where the gloomy sky blended into a bleak horizon.  If one color summed up dorm life, grey would be his choice; an anthem for his life eating odorless food to the boredom of pointless chatter.

He checked Facebook.  Emily’s boyfriend bought her a bunch of roses.  He clicked ‘like’ on both.  Connor hadn’t had a girlfriend since sophomore year.  Keith had gone to the Chiefs game; Matt changed his profile picture to one of himself mountain biking.  Scrolling down there were Allison’s vacation photos.  He clicked ‘like’ again but by now the posts of friends smiling and laughing made him feel inferior.

He should be having the time of his life; out mingling and partying and meeting new people daily . . . right?

But it was Sunday afternoon and Connor had been in a foul mood all day, feeling sorry for himself; wallowing in the stench of self-pity.  He'd never felt more alone in his life.  If his family were just physically far away he could’ve overcome it with technology.  But since the argument, they were emotionally distant, angry, and unwilling to consider his point of view.

“Why can't my friends call me to hang out?” he wondered.

Connor updated his Facebook status to: “I’m lonely.”

A good friend from back home immediately replied.  “You know, there’s a place unlike Facebook called “OUTSIDE” where people “FRIEND” each other by making eye contact and talking.  Go  check it out.” J

Social media has crept into the homes of nearly 2 billion people worldwide.  Lost relationships have reignited, friendships have bonded.  But personal social interaction has clearly declined.  Think about it for a moment.  Do you remember the last time you actually stopped by a friend’s house just to catch up?

Social media has allowed all of us to interact solely through chat rooms, text messages, Facebook posts and other electronic tools.  But we need to be reminded again and again that technology has a power-off button.  And the wisest know when to use it.

Life is still about F2F interaction, hugs and eye contact.

Holy Father, You never intended for us to walk alone.  You place people into our lives to stand with us, be there for us in our time of need, and give us the opportunity to serve You by being there for them as well.  Thank You.  Amen

Puppy Power

"Paradise is open to all God's creatures, we’ll see them again in the eternity of Christ." ~ Pope Francis

It made no sense.  Pillows fluffed, room temperature perfect, night light casting a soft shadow.  But no matter how hard Joseph tried, he just couldn't get to sleep.  Lying restlessly in bed, he tried working through a new book he’d recently bought.  It was difficult to read; his mind distracted by sneaking melancholia.

It’d been two years.  Two lonely years since Ginger arrived at Puppy Heaven.  Joseph knew she went there because “all dogs went to heaven.”

With a face and demeanor as precious as her name, Ginger was a Cockapoo - a mix between the low-shedding coat of a Poodle and the affectionate nature of a Cocker Spaniel.  Her childlike face, molten-brown eyes and cottony fur endeared hearts galore.

A devoted companion, Ginger loved to play ball, go for walks, sleep by your feet, or preferably, in your lap!  She had the cutest little fox paws and loved to dig in the dirt.  Her small, marshmallow tail wagged endlessly, sometimes even when she napped.

She could be very fussy about her food at times.  She’d linger around her dog bowl but never miss a table meal.  And her needle-sharp teeth made short work of any ‘treats’ that fell to the floor.

But old age finally caught up with the dog that, as a puppy, moved in constant motion - wagging, wiggling and jumping. Ginger believed she was part gazelle or cheetah.

Joseph’s world for a time, had ended.  She’d been his favorite hello and his saddest goodbye.  He’d not forget her frightened look as the vet administered a shot stopping her heart.

After yet another difficult page Joseph shut the book and closed his eyes.  Suddenly, he felt the book being gently pushed down.  He opened his eyes and saw a white, furry nose on top of it.  It was Annie, the new puppy who had grown from 4 to 22 pounds in just four months.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

Her answer came quickly; a face licking that soaked his nose.  Joseph laughed, threw the book aside, and petted his newest, furry friend.  Annie had reminded him again that the true wisdom of life is to be found in simple love rather than in complex text.

Dogs have long ago stopped being just animals.  A dog is also a symbol - one of endless loyalty, of love given without asking for it to be returned.  They reflect the best parts in us and help us find balance in life.  We look to them hoping to find their strength and love in us.  We learn from them how to be true friends and true members of a loving family.

Father of all joys, thank you for this pup who reminds me that every problem can be solved with just a little more love.  For centuries they’ve walked by our sides, napped by our fires, and blessed us with their friendship.  May we always follow their example.  Amen

Hosting Angels

“I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength." ~ Philippians 4:13

Tara had just finished a 10-hour shift at the diner.  Her feet ached and her head throbbed, but she still managed a smile so genuinely sweet that it warmed the few remaining patrons before she headed into the chilly night air.

Outside the restaurant, she slipped into the alleyway.  The familiar stench of sour garbage marked her shortcut home.  Tara stopped, ears straining.  The alley was never like this, like some empty movie set.  Her eyes took in every detail.

Suddenly a man blocked her path.  Holding a knife between thick fingers he spoke without fear. "Wallet, jewelry, now!

Her hands trembled as she handed over the goods - $37 in tips and a cheap necklace.  He grabbed them and ran off.

Sweating and shaking, Tara managed to yell “Young man, wait!”  He stopped dead in his tracks, as if paralyzed by curiosity.

Removing an old scarf, she offered it to him. “Take this too.  Its cold tonight. I’m almost home anyway.”

This woman must be crazy . . . or worse, he thought, but remained in place.

“Let me buy you a meal,” she continued.  I know a great restaurant near here.  They serve great meat loaf.  And the chili’s to die for.”

He reasoned that she must be nuts but decided to take her up on the offer.  Something about her projected warmth and compassion; an authenticity seldom found on these streets.

She introduced herself to Daryl and the two returned to the diner.  She told him to order whatever he wanted.  On her!  As the two struck up a conversation, Daryl shared his desperate story.

He was from Philly and had been struck by a car.  He couldn’t go to a hospital because he had practically nothing to his name – not even an ID card.  Soon they were engaged in a conversation like two old friends.

When it came time to settle the bill, Tara reminded Daryl that he’d taken all her money.  He returned the cash to its rightful owner.  She told him to keep the necklace, one given by her dying mother.  Its inscription read Philippians 4:13 (above).

She’d answered the call; an opportunity to transform the trajectory of someone’s life.  She’d fed him what he was really hungry for – encouragement, hope, a listening ear.  And he felt special.

Waitressing is a tough gig, and women who can do it well usually turn out to be genuinely remarkable people.    The next time you go out for dinner, let your server know “We'll be thanking God for our food when it arrives and would like to know if you have anything we could pray for.”  If you don’t take the risk of hospitality, you’ll never know.

Almighty Father, allow me to serve others as You serve, with gentleness, compassion, and tenderness, never diminishing the worth of another, choosing to extend mercy to the brokenhearted, like You have repeatedly shown it to me, Amen. ~ Jack Watts