“Supporting laziness or destructive behavior is irresponsible; not a
loving act." ~ Rev. Ron Sider
For the 12th year in a
row, Pastor Fowler celebrated Christmas Eve by participating in his church’s
Adopt-a-Family gift giving program.
They arrived on time at the chosen inner-city home. Bare floors had been swept clean, and clutter
organized. A small artificial tree on a
corner table blinked with a single strand of colored lights. Excited children on tiptoes, eyes wide with
anticipation, stared over the window’s edge for their first glimpses of Santa’s
helpers.
Upon their arrival, Mom greeted the Pastor Fowler and his
volunteers, inviting them to come inside.
Her stomach shifted uneasily as she politely accepted armfuls of neatly
wrapped gifts. No one noticed that Dad
had quietly slipped out the back door … no one but Mom.
The clergyman suspected something he’d never noticed before. Dad had been emasculated in his own home in
front of his wife and children for not being able to provide presents for his
own family. His wife was forced to
shield her babies from their father’s shame.
And the children got the message that the “good stuff” comes from rich
people. And it’s free!
Even something as innocent as giving Christmas toys to needy
children, can extract an unintended toll on a parent’s dignity. The Pastor realized that what was supposed to
be a joyous process, had an unintended darker side. The emotional price tag clung to him for
weeks.
Everywhere he looked, he began to notice the same charitable
patterns - from overseas mission trips to inner-city service projects. Wherever there was sustained one-way giving,
unwholesome dynamics and caustic pathologies festered under the cover of compassion.
There had to be a better way.
The following Christmas, Pastor Fowler terminated the church’s
Adopt-a-Family gift giving. Instead,
congregants were asked to give an ‘extra’ gift that year – the gift of dignity
to low income parents.
Instead of delivering toys directly to the homes of poor
families, donors were encouraged to bring unwrapped gifts to an abandoned warehouse
in the city. There volunteers had
decorated a section as “Santa’s (special) Toy Shop.” Bargain prices were attached to each gift.
Parents from the neighborhood were invited to come shopping
for gifts sure to excite their kids.
Those who had no money were able to work in the store, earning what they
needed for their purchases. In that way,
parents experienced the same joy as parents across the world – seeing their kids
open gifts on Christmas that they’d purchased through the efforts of their own
hands.
Parents stated that they’d much rather work to purchase
gifts for their children than stand in free-toy lines with their “Proof of
Poverty” documents.
Jesus, You embody truth and
love. Help us to transform this
world. Help us to direct our generosity
towards effective, uplifting and longer term solutions that liberate, energize,
and empower for generations. Amen
