“God is always at work for the good of those who loves Him."
~ Romans 8:28
There's that nanosecond between
action and consequence, when whatever you did has occurred but the reaction hasn’t
yet come. The seed of embarrassment gets
wedged inside you ready to blossom red upon your cheeks.
At 32, Nina never had a pedicure or a manicure. Even though her body had been massaged and exfoliated
countless times, her nails had never been touched. It was the perfect gift from her mother after
Nina’s first daughter was born.
Hue, a young Vietnamese woman whom Nina had never met, soaked,
filed and oiled her toenails while Nina talked about her healthy newborn and
how excited she was. That’s when Hue
dropped a bomb - she’d recently lost a baby girl because she’d been born way
too early.
As the callous words left her throat, all heads in the
parlor turned toward her. She instantly
wanted to inhale them back in, feeling foolish at her heartlessness. Hue looked Nina straight into her eyes and
said, “It’s really hard to see a reason for something so terrible.”
Of course, it was. Who was she - a woman with a healthy baby at
home - to tell this woman who’d suffered a devastating loss that she was going
through it for a reason?
We’ve probably all said stupid, robotic things in times of
discomfort. We want some magic salve to heal
others’ the wounds; that’ll bring comfort so we won’t have to be vulnerable
enough to offer real help or a listening ear.
It was condescending and Nina knew it too.
Years later she’d have a chance to redeem herself. Flying from Omaha to Denver, she sat next to
a woman who opened up about the death of her teenaged son from cancer.
Nina didn’t try to coax her with sugar-coated Hallmark words
like before. Nor did she gloss over its
reality. She extended the conversation by
saying again, “I’m so sorry.” Then
continued with “You must think of him every day.”
What followed was a real, guttural conversation about life;
how it can knock the wind out of you; that it takes strength and courage to keep
from giving up. That’s the best thing
you can do when someone is suffering and feeling a pain you can’t possibly
fathom.
There doesn’t have to be a clear, or logical answer for why
such hardships take place. But we know
that God causes everything to work for the good of those who love Him and are
called to His purpose. Maybe a more
relevant explanation is that “In everything, God is with us for a reason.
”Lord, nothing brings us the comfort and peace
that You alone can offer. Through our own struggle and pain, help us to be Your
vessels to comfort and strengthen others who are hurting. Amen
