“Don’t let anger gain a foothold." ~ Ephesians
4:32
Anger didn’t come close to
describing Caroline’s current emotion.
It boiled deep in her gut as hot as lava; hungry for destruction. She hoped the feeling would pass, but while
it hadn't, she bolted out the door oblivious to the world around her.
It wasn’t the fear of dying that
scared her - but the pain, the mutilation of her body, the loss of her
youth. Cancer – it pained her to even
say the word out loud. At 27, this
should not be happening. While her peers
were getting married and having children, she’d be pumping just enough
chemicals into her body to destroy the cancer and hopefully not her spirit.
Caroline had often heard people quote the Bible and say, “All
things work together for good to those who love God.” How was this working for anybody’s
good?
While pondering this for the umpteenth time, Caroline
flashed back to that afternoon in high school when she was similarly terribly upset. Having been passed over for a spot on the
volleyball team, she’d unloaded all her teenage angst. “It’s not fair. God doesn’t listen to any of my prayers. Why me?”
“It’s just a dot,” her Mom said.
“What do you mean?”
Mom pulled out a worksheet with numbered dots all over
it. “What’s that?” Caroline asked
cynically.
“It’s dot-to-dot,” Mom replied. “What’s it a picture of?”
“I don’t know, they seem scattered over the page in no
apparent shape,” said Caroline wondering what point her mother was trying to
make.
“That’s how life is,” Mom began. “God places things in our lives that seem
confusing or out of order. We often have
no idea why things happen the way they do.”
“So … we’re the dots?”
“No, we’re the pencil,” her mother said, handing Caroline
one. “The pencil moves from dot to dot. Only God sees the whole picture.”
Caroline started connecting the numbered dots. Soon the lines came together to reveal a
puppy. Maybe now it made sense.
She’d changed jobs recently and her new employer couldn’t
have been more supportive. A recent urge
to become more fit and eating healthier had resulting in her sheading nearly 25
pounds.
Her cancer was slow moving.
New treatments were highly successful in eradicating early-detected
cancer. God was there all along; He’d
been preparing her for the battle.
Caroline stopped viewing all these events as blips of
tragedy. She needed to trust God to
reveal the beautiful bigger picture. All
things could work together in our lives for good.
Anger is a valid reaction to adversity, but if left
unchecked, it will lead to bitterness and hostility. If you're angry with God, lay your heart open
before Him. Admit that while you don't
understand all that’s happening, you trust Him to make everything work out … dot
to dot.
Dear Lord, there is so much hurt and anger
inside of me. I'm tired of living this
way. I'm giving it to You to heal my
hurt. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
