Grief Catcher

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." ~ Mathew 5:4

In the quiet corners of the city’s busiest hospital, she rests alone briefly in order to prevent her body from spiraling into exhaustion. Chaplain Margaret had just watched a young man being resuscitated in the ER. He didn’t make it. Soon she’ll be tasked with consoling the grieving family when they arrive as their nightmare unfolds.

She sees gunshot wounds, car accidents, fires, falls, stabbings, strokes, and heart attacks daily. Almost every person was living a perfectly normal routine before their life was irreversibly changed by the universe crashing in.

Her job is a mix between a pastor and a therapist. Margaret enters every hospital room as a presence with open arms and ears. A subtle panic stirs in her chest waking a profound appreciation for the responsibility she bears.

Her role will be that of a “grief catcher.” When a person grieves, very often they’re falling. Falling into a sudden vacuum of loss, falling into overwhelming emotions, falling into a 'new normal.' She’ll try to catch them... not to block their anguish, but be with them on the way down.

The deceased also requires catching. Grieving isn’t always about letting go of the departed, but catching their memory. People tend to share stories about their loved ones. In a few moments, Margaret will help capture the young man’s story - the texture of the way he laughed, spoke, or sang in the shower so the bereaved can ignite an eternal flame of remembrances before re-entering the hectic crush of living.

She’ll have sacred access to the memorialization of his spirit, brought to life by the family of friends who loved him. It's never something the Chaplain takes lightly.

The family of five just arrived. “God be with me please,” Margaret prays somberly to herself. “Make me an instrument of Your peace and love.”

The father cried as if his brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of Mom’s every pore. From her lungs came a cry so raw that even the eyes of the hospital staff were suddenly wet with tears.

Then she went to work – listening, calming, and reassuring until the family left the hospital.

Years ago, a physician asked Margaret if her chaplain ministry had become easier or harder with time. After pausing to reflect, she admitted, “It’s easier because, after over 20 years, I feel calmer and more solid when confronted with suffering and usually feel better equipped to respond in ways that seem helpful. But it’s harder, also, because my heart is softer. Somehow, I feel the depth of the pain before me at a much deeper level.”

Blessed are those who serve.

Light of life, help us to not be afraid and lean on You for comfort and peace. Death is an unknown and anxious experience. Calm our spirits and give us peace when we journey with You into eternal life - no more pain, no more weeping, only Light and Love. Amen.

Lean On Me

 “Lord, let me hear Your loving-kindness in the morning, for I trust in You." ~ Psalm 143:8

He (9) cries all alone in the corner, his mind lost in absolute fear with a story no one would believe. Yet he prays every night – for a safe place, for a better life; more like heaven than this hell. He pleads: "Father, could you please send someone here who will love me for me?”

They could’ve known, but she (13) hides it so well, even from her parents. Although they can’t see the scars, the burns, and the emotional wounds, she wonders why they don’t notice the sadness in her eyes or the silent anguish bleeding her mind. Sometimes all she needs is a kind word or a warm hug – signs that she’s loved, understood, and accepted for who she really is.

He (26) wasn't born for great things, nor to find his place in the sun. He tries every day but there seems no path to success. He’s lost an astounding amount of money in a fraction of the time it took to acquire. There’s nothing to show for it - other than maybe a sad story to tell. Some days, it feels like all he knows how to do is lose.

Her (45) circle is shrinking a little each day. Her soul mate, her husband of 21 years husband is leaving. She’ll go to the gym today after work. Maybe if she were thinner, prettier, or more exciting he would stay. Will she ever know someone who will love her again, this time for who she is, blemishes and all? Somebody who will show her what love really means.

He (58) sits all alone waiting to die. The man in the cell regrets all he’s done. Inaudible screams purge the depths of his soul. The walls can’t hold back a prayer, or a spirit.

So, he calls to the heavens and promises all the good things he’ll do if ever released: “Lord, forgive me, I wanna go home."

Suddenly, all five people heard a voice somewhere from deep within that spoke softly, "I know your story and I’ve watched you suffer. I will love you for you, not for what you’ve done or what you will become. I will love you for you… and will give you the love that you never knew.”

Every day we have a choice where to look for hope - in created things or in our Heavenly Creator. The world tells us to hope in money, luck, determination, relationships, skills, and our own skills.  God tells us to look to Him. He will never fail us. The hope He offers doesn’t rise and fall with changing circumstances. It is forever, solid and secure.

Father God, Your version of hope doesn’t promise to deliver our own definition of joy. It assures us that You will order the events of our lives to refine us and make us more like Your Son. Thank You for the promise of the deep and abiding love we crave. Amen

Kindness From Within

 “Do to others as you would like them to do to you." ~ Luke 6:31

When the U.S. closed its airspace soon after the attacks of 911, 38 planes carrying unexpected visitors from 95 countries, landed in rural Newfoundland. But for the residents of Gander, where travelers almost outnumbered the locals, making room for nearly 7,000 guests, along with 11 dogs, 9 cats, and 2 Bonobo apes seemed to be part of their genetic code.

While passengers and crew sat on the runway for over 24 hours as security officials searched each plane for potential terrorists, Newfoundlanders were already securing accommodations for the frightened, weary strangers.

All nonessential businesses and schools closed, allowing everyone in the community to help where needed. Schools, churches, government centers, and legion halls were converted into makeshift dormitories.

People spontaneously offered up spare rooms and hot showers in their homes, lent their cars and cell phones to complete strangers. Donations of so much food arrived that it had to be stored at the Community Centre’s ice rink. They even tracked down kosher food for Jewish passengers.

Local bakeries stayed open 24/7 to make fresh bread for the guests. Local pharmacists offered free prescriptions for those who needed refills and nicotine patches for smokers distressed by the airlines’ no-smoking mandates. Kids helped deliver food, clean sheets, and hygiene supplies. Some gave up their toys and games. Veterinarians cared for the animals left on board the planes.

The Newfoundlanders helped take everyone’s minds off of the horrifying attacks by providing entertainment to their guests, as well. They orchestrated tours of the town, dinners featuring local cuisine of stewed moose, bowling matches, and live concerts by regional artists.

More importantly, the kindness shown by the residents of Gander offered compassion and hope when it was needed most. That, there are places in the world where people can come together and respect and care for one another — regardless of race, religion, or political affiliation.

Five days later the 38 planes started departing the small rural community. The “plane people” did not forget their time in Canada once they arrived at their final destinations.

Passengers kept in touch with one another and their Newfoundland hosts by phone, made websites dedicated to their individual flights, and even traveled back to Gander for anniversaries of the attacks.

The passengers and crew of Delta Flight 15 created a scholarship fund for students in the Gander area. In the more than 20 years since 9/11, the fund raised over $1.5 million and helped 200 local students obtain a college education.

The horrors of 911 are behind us, but hatred remains. We need to be constantly reminded that good people still exist in this world - over 9,000 of them live in Gander, Newfoundland.

Lord Almighty, make me a channel of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me bring Your love; where there is injury, Your healing power, and where there’s doubt, true faith in You.” (Attributed to St. Francis of Assisi)

Camp Aliceville

 “You shall love your neighbor as yourself." ~ Matthew 22:37-40

Did you know that during WWII there were over 500 POW camps on American soil? All but 4 US states housed over 425,000 (mostly German) POWs.

One such camp, in the sleepy farming town of Aliceville, Alabama, housed some of Hitler’s most notorious soldiers. The entire town turned out when the prisoners first arrived, eager to see exactly what kind of monstrous devils would disembark.

But when the train pulled up right along the highway and hundreds of German soldiers started pouring out, the townspeople’s reaction was anything but predictable. Far from the fiery horned devils they expected, they saw instead a bunch of young, scared, defeated kids, often seriously injured and disfigured from the war.

Something remarkable happened almost immediately at the POW Camp in Aliceville. The officers running the camp and the local townsfolk began treating the enemy combatants the same way they would want their own sons and brothers to be treated were they captured in the war.

Prisoners found fresh linens and shaving equipment waiting for them on their bunks. They ate well and were treated with dignity and respect.

Within a year the prisoners organized 3 different orchestras using instruments donated by local musicians. They opened a school where soldiers could learn anything from pottery to mathematics and various foreign languages. They played soccer every day.

Life was good for POWs in Aliceville. Said one German soldier: “We arrived there expecting hell but instead were greeted by heaven.”

Remember, this was at a time when Americans were being asked to ration and go without. So, when average Americans started hearing stories about POWs getting food and extracurriculars that they themselves did not have access to, public outcry began to swell.

As the war in Europe began to favor an Allied victory, American troops started liberating our own soldiers from German POW camps. They were horrified by the wretched, inhumane conditions that American POWs were subjected to.

Americans were infuriated.

Major General Archer Lerch who ran Camp Aliceville was called to testify before a very hostile Congress. He affirmed that they were simply following the Geneva Conventions that entitled all POWs the same quality rations, clothing, and housing as were afforded their host troops.

Then he went on to add: “We’re not going to let the enemy decide who we are as a country. We’re going to continue to treat enemy POWs well because Americans are decent people.”

“That’s the heart of Jesus’ teaching about loving our enemies- not because there’s anything objectively likable or lovable about them. Not because we expect reciprocity. But because of who we are: people who’ve experienced the unearned, undeserved love of God.”

That brought the congressional investigations to a close and silenced even his most vocal critics.

Loving God, we live in a fallen world, a world full of self-gratification, a world full of hurting people. That change can start with one person. Let that be me. Amen

No Chairs, No More

 “You are all one in Christ Jesus." ~ Galatians 3:28

In a cluttered classroom in the schoolhouse built in 1896, a single chair seems out of place. The piece is neither comfortable nor attractive. No one moves it or suggests removing it. And it’s been vacant since the 1970s - as if it should hold something - or someone.

Yet, the kids who’ve been taught there for more than a half-century know all about its significance. It represents an important metaphor and lesson for students of middle school teacher Daniel Gill.

The story of the empty chair begins in the South Bronx, where Gill grew up. There he learned very early in life about the sting of prejudice - not as a victim, but as a witness.

The year was 1956, and 9-year-old Dan and his friend, Archie Shaw, headed for a birthday party carrying gifts for the birthday boy. “We were all dressed up,” Gill recalled. “Back in those days, you wore a suit jacket and tie to a birthday party and we were looking forward to having a great time.” Dan was white and Archie was Black.

They rang the bell and anxiously waited. The child’s mother opened the door, looked at Archie, and told them there were no more chairs. “No problem,” Dan said. “We can sit on the floor or fetch some chairs if needed.”

The woman glared at Archie and curtly repeated that there were no more chairs. There was something in her eyes that left a searing pain. It was only then that they realized Archie wasn't welcome because of his skin color. The boys left their gifts at the door and retreated in tears.

Gill eventually went to college and became a teacher. During his 53 years as an educator, he taught social studies - using an empty chair in the classroom as a visual aid when teaching about the civil rights movement and Martin Luther King Jr.’s life.

“The chair symbolizes the one so cruelly denied his friend for Archie - but also acts as a metaphor; a reminder for all of us to work harder at accepting others. Students tend to learn through symbols, so we keep the vacant chair in the center of the room to remind them that everyone is welcome in our classroom.”

Jesus spent a lot of time around a dinner table. The company around Him was remarkably diverse. He crossed racial boundaries to the shock of many. His table was open to all.

We, humans, need community and connection. We should always have an empty chair in our churches, our businesses, our homes, and our lives. The kingdom of God is a party, and we’re all invited. It doesn’t matter what we look like, what we’ve done, or where we’ve been. We all get an invitation to His celebration.

Holy Father, when we consider how Jesus lived, we realize how radically inclusive He was. May the Son who teaches us to care for strangers, go with us as we try to be better neighbors in our communities. Amen

The Silent Voices

 “Faith comes from listening, and hearing through the word of Christ.” ~ Romans 10:17

She immediately knew something was wrong when her son Aiden was born. He wasn’t behaving the way her 3-year-old daughter had. He wouldn’t track changes in light or smile as much. Kylee took him to his first doctor’s appointment a week after he was born and said, “There’s something wrong with my baby.”

The pediatrician checked Aiden over and assured her that all was well. Kylee returned two days later, then the next week, and the following week, each time with the same complaint, “There’s something wrong with my boy.”

After a particularly fitful night, the desperate Mom went back to the doctor’s office. A retired pediatrician was filling in for Aiden’s regular physician. She waited impatiently, angry that she’d have to explain everything to this new doctor.

When they entered the exam room, Dr. Riley (73), smiled and listened to her usual schtick. But he didn’t extend the patronizing smile she’d grown accustomed to. He asked about Aiden’s symptoms, held him like an experienced grandpa, and asked if he could run a non-evasive urine test.

Eventually, he’d diagnose SSADH, a 35-letter, rare metabolic disorder. Aiden is effectively silent; “nonverbal” in clinical terms. At nine years old he speaks about a dozen words, eliciting only a few guttural sounds. There’s no cure. 

Muscle weaknesses also affect his hands so his sign language lacks precision. But communication is more than words, more than signs. It’s a deeper connection that exists in the pauses - a glance, a breath, a touch.    

There are messages in the gaps. Things that aren’t said, or haven’t been said yet, or experienced. For Kylee, that’s the still, quiet, reassuring voice of God, a voice she’s learning to trust even more because of Aiden.

When Aiden was sick, for example, she held him continuously. Something told her that the infant needed to hear her heartbeat. Her breathing soothed the scared little boy.

He’s a gift. He’s taught her how to hone some of the most essential skills of being human - love, compassion, service, and especially listening. To be still and present and reverent.

Most of us picture prayer sort of like a monologue: We talk to God, sharing our heartfelt thanks and offering up our petitions. But prayer is really more like a dialogue, where we silently talk with God and He speaks back. Call it a “listening prayer.”

In making our request, we first give God’s guidance authority over the other voices we hear throughout our daily lives. Then we hit the pause button. We wait on God in a time of silence, giving the Lord opportunity to speak to us. We focus our prayer time on intentional, purposeful listening and let God do the talking.

Almighty Father, speak to me now. My heart is open. Your servant is listening... for Your wisdom, insight, and direction. And whatever You show me or direct me to do, I pray that I will quickly obey. Amen

Bye, Bye Baby

 “A mother speaks with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” ~ Proverbs 31:26

Betsy couldn’t fathom how the years had slipped away so quickly and desperately wanted time to slow down to delay the inevitable “last moments.”

She meandered through her daughter, Sonya’s, senior year with tear-fogged eyes, paralyzed by grief at the thought of letting her go. Nostalgia was her nemesis; tormented by constant reflection of the past and a mantra that her heart kept whispering..."How did this all go by so fast?"

Memories of Sonya growing up kept repeating like clips from a sappy movie, culminating in visions of the farewell scene as they dropped her off at college. Would they be driving away watching her in the review mirror, waving from the residence hall steps? Would she cry? Would she even be able to breathe?

So, Betsy blubbered through Sonya’s entire senior year, her graduation, college orientation at a school 9 hours away, and even at the Target checkout line with a car full of dorm essentials.

As the moment she’d been dreading finally approached, Betsy prepared a series of grad gifts for Sonya. Each had instructions on when best to open them and were aimed at making her daughter feel close to her when she needed her Mom most over the next few months.

She jotted down a few of her favorite Bible verses, organized by specific request, and placed them in an envelope titled (When you need a little boost), for Sonya to reference.

One package (On a cold day), contained a fleece pullover. Another (When you’re coming down with a cold), came complete with vitamin C, tea, honey, cough drops, extra Kleenex boxes, and a plethora of OTC cold medicines.

There was a special (Me Time) gift of spa day goodies, chocolates, and a Chick-Fil-A card. On that day when Sonya had (No time for laundry today), she’ll unwrap a package filled with some hair ties, socks, and undergarments.

(For midterms), there was a wrapped package with insomnia cookies, a Starbucks gift card for (When you need a jolt), and an “A” pendant (For achieving your first A).

Betsy, a courageous cancer survivor, offered one final gift (Open me when we say Goodbye). Since her daughter was the “sunshine” in her life, she would receive a gold sun necklace as a reminder.

When the moment finally arrived, they BOTH cried as they hugged one last time in the parking lot at her dorm and said goodbye. On her way to the car, Betsy asked her Heavenly Father to release her from feeling like motherhood had ended. She prayed for help to find new, meaningful ways to stay connected and deepen her now-adult relationship with Sonya as the journey continues:

“Heavenly Father, I place her into Your hands and ask for Your grace, guidance, and protection over her heart and mind, as she takes this next big step in her journey through life. Keep Jesus as the central focus of her day. Amen” ~ Betsy

Full Circle

 “Your body is a Temple, use every part of it to give glory back to God." ~ Corinthians 6:19-20

Her downward spiral came quickly. After scripts for postsurgical pain ran out, the single mother of two began buying pills off the street. The next thing Joy knew she was shooting heroin and living under parked cars for safety. She lost her electrician job, her car, her friends, and the custody of her children.

Arrested multiple times for possession, theft, and fraudulent use of credit cards, local police knew her well. They treated her with contempt; as if she was worthless.

But there was one cop who saw through her unsightly appearance and always treated her respectfully. Even through the haze of addiction, Joy saw something different in Officer Terry’s eyes – a kindness, empathy, and hope that she desperately needed.

While serving a six-month sentence in the county jail, addiction stalked her like a ravenous beast. She finally reached a breaking point, given a blunt choice between life and death. It was there, as part of the jail ministry, that Joy had a profound conversion to Christ and found the strength to get clean for the first time in many years.

After her release, Joy moved in with her Mom, restored relationships with her kids, and worked two jobs. She also found time to visit that same jail where she counseled other women battling addiction, encouraging their spiritual growth and teaching clean-life skills. In time, she began her own nonprofit, The Place of Grace Center, a recovery program for women.

The story’s not over – Divine Providence was about to move her a second time.

She read online that Terry, the same officer who treated her with such kindness years earlier while incarcerated, was battling kidney disease and urgently needed a donor kidney for survival. She felt a powerful urge to be tested, ignoring the odds and self-doubt about her candidacy given her many years of self-abuse.

She simply couldn’t deny God’s nudging.

Just as amazing as her willingness to donate, blood work proved Joy to be a match. The operation went smoothly and her kidney began functioning for Terry immediately. It was no coincidence!

Their lives continue to be closely commingled.

Her life has come full circle. She’s newly married, sober, and busy with the Grace Center. Terry retired from the police force and enjoys excellent health again. He considers Joy another daughter. They talk daily by phone and she stops by his house for coffee 2-3 times a week.

Both are saving lives – offering kindness, compassion, and hope to others when they may have none for themselves. Perhaps Terry says it best: “We all have a purpose for our lives. Ours is to lead others to Christ and encourage their recovery.” Three cheers to you both!

Dear Lord, show me how the desires You’ve planted in my heart can grow into a greater purpose for my life. Lead me toward activities that bring clarity and validation of what I’m being called to fulfill for Your glory. Amen

Calming the Waves

 “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." ~ Proverbs 3:5

As a surfer, Jonas dreamed about how satisfying it would be to paddle out with his newborn, angling for waves, dropping down the face, and “yooping” that first wave. But first, he’d have to prepare the boy to be comfortable in the ocean.

They’d driven past the beach before, but Jonas had yet to put his boy’s tiny feet into the water. Their first visit didn't end well.

Cooper accidentally rubbed suntan lotion into his eyes causing pain and blurriness. He played briefly in the sand but avoided the water. Imagine how vast the ocean looks to a little guy.

Determined to try again, they spent some time at the beach the following weekend to allow the toddler to experience the magic of the ocean.

Upon arrival, Cooper bolted for the water. A gentle wave splashed his shins. He giggled. A larger wave followed and knocked him down. His glee instantly turned to fear and he panicked.

Jumping waves, boogie boarding, and surfing will happen in due time, Jonas thought. So, they left the water and started building a sand castle further up the beach.

After several hours, Jonas said, “Cooper, would you like to walk toward the ocean and see if the water can tickle our toes?” The little boy hesitated before grabbing his Dad’s hand. They walked far enough from the edge of the water that the youngster wouldn’t be scared, but close enough so that when the waves broke, he’d get to feel a little bit of the ocean on his toes.

They walked a quarter mile along the beach, enjoying the new game before Jonas said, “Do you want to get some more water on our toes?” They inched forward.

Soon, they were far enough out that the waves were breaking and splashing to Cooper’s waist. Through it all, he held tightly to his papa’s hand. Over time, an even braver child ventured farther and deeper into the waves.

He trusted the hand that held him.

Jonas’ eyes misted as he watched his little buddy, reminding him of his own relationship with God. Many times, he’d been afraid as the waves of life crashed into him, seemingly high above his head. He’d hovered in fear, scared to take the first few steps toward something God had called him to do.

But just like Cooper, all he had to do was to hold onto the Hand that would never cut him loose, that would never let anything happen to him that was not His will.

That first step is important.

If you wait until you feel like taking that first step, it might not happen for a long time; maybe not at all. You just have to move forward in faith. His Hand is always extended.

Almighty Father, let’s take two more steps. I want to be a person who stands firm and trusts You completely, unshakable and resilient. Help me depend on and develop that deeper trust in You. Amen

A Teaspoon of Love

 “Two are better than one because they have a better return for their labor." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9

Recently retired, Barbara finally had the time to take on a problem that had worried her for some time – climate change.  Yet her ambition stalled with piercing doubts: “Where to start? Will it really matter?” The world’s greatest minds struggle for solutions.

Her beekeeping friend, Francie, suggested that she look for inspiration from the simple honeybee. “Thinking small may be the best way to think big,” she reasoned. “Almost nothing beats watching their furry little bodies dance over the hive, filling the air with a subtle honey fragrance.”

So, Barbara did a little homework. Bees have been in the news a lot for the saddest reasons. Due to habitat loss, global warming, and pesticides, honeybees are steadily declining. Their departure could damage not only the world’s economy but also its very ecosystem.

Turns out, a bee in her lifetime makes only 1/12^th of a teaspoon of honey. They don’t do it with reward in mind. Yet pollination ensures that future generations will continue to thrive.

Perhaps that’s how we can change the world - not by worrying about the size of our contributions but by letting our efforts multiply the actions of others.

Watching Francie at work, Barbara learned even more about bees… about being a better person.

Honeybees are nature’s ultimate team players. They cooperate in everything, keeping the common good of the hive as their priority. They are incredibly efficient, wasting no time on anything other than living their purpose and contributing where they are most capable.

Their relationships are not acrimonious or competitive. If a job needs to be done, any available bee will jump on it. That makes their community both wonderfully efficient and harmonious in a way rarely seen in humans.

They continuously evolve. If relocated from one region to another, they quickly scout the new environment, communicate their findings, and get to work. They aren’t discouraged by change and never stop learning.

Colonies have queens, without bureaucracy or dictatorship. She performs her duties without interfering with her subjects’ work. And although the bees depend on her, she behaves as a servant to her hive.

Contrary to the common belief that they work continuously, honeybees spend two-thirds of their time doing nothing. With unwavering dedication and discipline, they work hard but get plenty of rest and recharge.

What treasures would God’s children be able to create if we worked together in love - cooperative, dedicated, and efficient? The possibilities become endless.

Weeks later as Barbara tended to her garden and new hives, she realized, “I am insignificant, but my 1/12^th of a teaspoon counts!” She marveled as her honeybees blessed each flower they passed, appreciating each of them for the little miracles they are.

Father, we come as broken people in need of a Perfect Savior. We pray for harmony. May Your song of peace and love be the song we come in agreement to sing, and may we keep our eyes and minds focused on You. Amen