Living with Dying

“Christ himself promised us eternal life." ~ 1 John 2:25

When the oncologist entered Marie’s room, she knew the news wouldn’t be good.  Her somber expression told it all: cancer that had metastasized to lymph nodes and lungs; inoperable . . . terminal.

She stayed for a long time, speaking in gentle tones; patiently answering Marie’s every question with kindness and hope.  They discussed the difficult path forward.  Marie fought back tears, knowing that her life, once seemingly boundless, was gradually dimming.

Despite her 80 years, and except for cancer, Marie’s body was strong and healthy.  She’d likely hang on for a long time.  She might face weeks or even months of hospice care.  No way could she fathom allowing herself to become anyone’s burden.

Marie knew about chemo – she’d held hands with several others who braved the grueling process.  She knew the effects were cumulative – that each round would hit harder.

She could deal with the nausea and vomiting, hair and weight loss, and constant fatigue from the toxins poisoning her body.  She wasn’t concerned about her weakening immune system and its high risk of infection.  She wasn’t even worried that she could develop morphine-resistant pain.

None of that bothered her.

What did worry her was becoming a burden to her husband of nearly 60 years.  Stoically independent, Marie constantly feared seeing the pain her children would experience watching her die.  Guilt consumed her daily thoughts.

As fate would have it, Marie’s chemo-odyssey ended relatively quickly.  On what turned out to be the last day of her life, Marie’s nurse arrived at her bedside with an unexpected guest - a young intern doing his hospice rotation.  He seemed ill at ease, but observed and listened with empathy. 

Marie suddenly realized that God sent that young doctor to help him learn how to deal compassionately with the dying patients and families that he’d encounter in the future.  It gave new meaning to all her suffering, even when it seemed to make no sense.  

Wonderfully, in the few days that followed, God showed his undeniable splendor; His presence compelling rather than diminishing.  Their trial became a treasure as He walked with them through what would be the final days of grief and uncertainty.

Her adversity served a real purpose.  Suffering wasn’t meant to be experienced alone, but rather shared where God’s grace could be known.  Those heartfelt chats and tender memories; the opportunity of sharing your last moments and extending love even in your last breaths.  Death was not about dying, but about preparing.  Because of God’s promise, Christians need not fear death or guilt for others suffering with them.

Marie died peacefully that December, a death made glorious because those she loved witnessed her passing and celebrated her transition home together. 

Lord Jesus, You know about dying.  You understand hard goodbyes and walk beside us in our final hours.  In Your death, You gave us hope and the promise of life well beyond this place.  Thy will be done Oh Lord, Amen

 

 

The Love Box

“The love we give away . . . is the only love we keep.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

When it became clear that her battle with ovarian cancer was nearing its end, Justina recorded messages to her then 4-year-old daughter, Sophia, so her only child could play them back in the lonely times that would follow her death.  She read familiar stories, gave advice, offered encouragement and sometimes just said “Good night my love.”

Now, 18 months after Justina took her final breath, young Sophia still relished the warm, familiar sound of her mother's voice whenever she wanted, by replaying those recordings on her iPod.  Rituals like that helped her heal following the loss of her #1 fan.

Sophia couldn’t remember a dad in her life.  Mom had never mentioned him.  If he’d died, there were no pictures honoring his memory.

She’d been forced to live with her aunt, a bitter middle aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister’s child.  She never failed to remind Sophia, that had it not been for her generosity, she would be a vagrant, orphaned soul.

Still, with all the scolding and animosity at home, she remained a sweet and gentle child.

Sophia’s kindergarten teacher hadn’t really noticed her until she began staying after class each day to help straighten up the room.  She rarely spoke, preferring the quiet solitude to the resentment that awaited her at home.  When they did talk, Sophia spoke mostly about the mother she adored – a kind, loving woman who always made time for her.

As Christmas drew near however, Sophia stopped staying after school; bolting quickly from the room after class.  One day his teacher stopped her and asked why she was in such a hurry to get home.  “I miss you,” the teacher confided.

Her large hazel eyes lit up eagerly as she replied, “Did you really mean it?”

The teacher explained how Sophie had been her best helper.  “I’m making you a surprise,” she whispered, “for Christmas.”  Now embarrassed, she hurried out the door.

On the last school day before Christmas, Sophia tiptoed silently into the room, her hands concealing something behind her back.

“I have your present,” she said softly.  “I hope you like it.”  From behind her back, she produced a colorfully-decorated box.

“Sophia, it’s beautiful!  Is there something inside?” she asked opening the top to look inside.

“Of course, but you can’t see it,” she replied. “And you can’t touch, taste or feel it.  Mom says it makes you feel special, warm on chilly nights, and safe when you’re all alone.”

She gazed into an empty box.  “What is it dear,” she asked, “that’ll make me feel so wonderful?”

“It’s LOVE,” she stated with conviction.  “Mom says it’s best when you give it away.”  Then turning she simply left the room.

Lord of life; awaken within me the courage to love.  Help me to love myself as deeply and profoundly as You love me.  Bring to me those who would love me with honesty and validity.  Amen

Sparky

“God’s got your back." ~ 1 Peter 5:7

School was anything but pleasant for the little boy whose uncle called him “Sparky.  The son of a barber, Sparky was the youngest in his class and notoriously shy.  Throughout his youth, he remained socially awkward.  He wasn’t unlikeable; no one really paid him much attention at all.

In his early years, Sparky endured a steady stream of failures.  Academically, he managed to flunk every eighth grade subject.  High school showed little improvement.  There he failed Physics, Latin, Algebra and English.

His (lack of) athleticism drew pity.  Though he managed to make the school’s golf team, he lost the only important match of the season.   Dating too, offered no solace.  Painfully scared of rejection, Sparky never once asked a girl out in high school.   

Sparky was a loser; every classmate knew it.  So he learned to live with his inescapable mediocrity.  His Lutheran faith taught him that if things were meant to work out . . .  they would. 

One thing WAS important to Sparky, however - his artwork.  During his senior year, he submitted some original cartoons for the Yearbook.  But despite their outright refusal, Sparky remained convinced of his ability. 

He also tried Walt Disney Studios.  They asked for samples of his artwork.  Despite careful preparation, they too were promptly rejected.  No one seemed to appreciate his talent.  But that didn’t dissuade him.

Instead, he decided to tell his own life’s story in a cartoon strip.  The main character would be a little boy who symbolized the perpetual loser and chronic underachiever.  He’d add childhood friends ‘Linus’ and ‘Shermy’; a cousin named ‘Patty’; and a ‘Little Red Haired Girl’ with who he had once proposed marriage (she turned him down).

People readily identified with this “lovable loser.” He reminded people of the agonizing and embarrassing moments from their own past, of their pain and their shared humanity.  “Charlie Brown” and the “Peanuts Gang” soon became famous worldwide.  And the world would soon come to love Charles Schultz, aka Sparky, the cartoonist whose countless disappointments never stopped him from trying.

Sparky’s story reminds us of a very important principle in life.  True character is like a diamond, hidden in the coal mine – it’s revealed only when it’s struck a very hard blow.  We all face discouragement from time to time.  We also have a choice in how we handle it.  

If we’re persistent, if we hold fast to our faith, if we continue to develop the unique talents God has given us, who knows what can happen?  We may end up with an insight and an ability to inspire that comes only through hardship.  In the end, there are no “losers” with God.  Some winners just take longer to develop! 

“You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.”

Father, thank You for the special talents You’ve bestowed upon me.  Thank You that Your blessings come to me abundantly, unexpectedly, pleasantly - like showers  from heaven, like rivers flowing through a thirsty land.  Amen

Soul Food

“God loves those who give cheerfully.”  2 Corinthians 9:7

To say that Kara’s first volunteer experience at the soup kitchen was a “culture shock” might have been the understatement of the millennium.  At age eleven, her refrigerator was not always the fullest, but her family always had enough to eat.  She was stunned at how many people didn’t have enough food that Christmas Eve or family to spend the holiday with.  

That night changed her life.

The kitchen had been nearly full; icy cold Chicago weather tended to bring in hordes of hungry people.  As sweat trickled down her back, Kara glanced at the plate count and noticed they must have easily served 200 people already.  The line stretched well beyond the door and she prayed that they wouldn’t run out of food.

She marveled at the people that greeted her with friendly smiles.  Dan a small-statured man with a wry grin, made a point of learning Kara’s name so that in case she returned, he could greet her personally.

Wheezy didn’t sleep on the street like the rest of them, but in a warehouse.  At night, she crawled in through a window and had never been caught.   Seemed reasonable, except that Wheezy weighed over 300 pounds and wore loud clothing that could be spotted blocks away. 

Marge, a grandmotherly type in her early 60s with matted gray hair, wore an ever present gap-toothed grin.   She had a quiet dignity about her.  Unlike the others, Marge placed a napkin in her lap, kept her elbows off the table, and chewed elegantly with her moth closed.

As the guests continued to pile in, Kara fell into a rhythm - left hand, right hand, one serving each.  She looked up briefly and spotted near the back of the line, a boy with piercing blue eyes.  His shirt was stained with what appeared to be grape juice; his hair filthy from the lack of a shower.  As he approached, Kara could see hardship in his sad eyes.

She grabbed the thickest sandwich from her serving pan.  But to her amazement, the young lad refused it and pointed to his friend directly behind him.  “I want the birthday boy here to have two sandwiches on his special day.  It’s the only gift I have to give.”  

Both boys were ecstatic; they who have nothing . . . and still give.

Maybe he was just a homeless stranger, but to Kara that child was much more.  Maybe he was sent by the Holiest of Spirits, to show her that no matter your net worth, you can always help others.  Even if it‘s just a kind word . . . or a stale roast beef sandwich, your gift may be priceless to someone.

Lord, You say that the poor in spirit will inherit Your kingdom.  Please find a place for those that live their lives disadvantaged and suffering.  I also pray that You give me a heart for those who have less, so that I always do your work here.  Amen

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?

“Use whatever gifts God gave you in ways that will serve each other." ~ 1 Peter 4:10

First authorized in 1792, the dime became one-tenth of a dollar.  It’s the smallest, thinnest, and lightest of all U.S. coins in circulation.  

Originally minted of almost-pure silver, the dime's silver content was replaced in 1965 by a “sandwich” of copper and nickel and costs about 6 cents to produce.

Since its introduction, the dime has been issued in six different major types.  You probably know whose portrait has adorned its face since 1946.  But do you know why he was chosen?

It wasn’t because of his family’s name (GOP cousin Teddy was the country’s 26^th President).  Nor was it because he was the first in his family elected as a Democrat.   

It wasn’t because at age 51, he became the 32^nd President.  Nor was it because he was the only president to be elected to four terms; serving for an unprecedented twelve years.

It wasn’t because as President, he guided America through some of the toughest crisis, including the Great Depression and the Second World War.  Nor was it because his New Deal policies created jobs for the unemployed, reformed Wall Street and the national banking system, and helped bring about sustainable economic growth.

It also wasn’t because he was the first President to speak on television, travel in an airplane, or the first whose mother could vote for him. 

Franklin D. Roosevelt’s portrait appears on the dime for his involvement in the “March of Dimes.”  

In the 1930s, thousands of Americans contracted polio; often paralyzed or killed by this incurable disease.  Roosevelt, sick himself with the disease, announced in late 1937 the establishment of the National Foundation for Infantile Paralysis (NFIP), in which he was one of main supporters.  He used his own birthday to increase donations for the cause by organizing charitable birthday balls. 

To increase awareness of the Foundation’s campaign, radio personality Eddie Cantor urged Americans to send their loose change to President Roosevelt.  Soon, millions of dimes flooded the White House. 

By 1945, the annual campaign raised $18.9 million for the NFIP (which later changed its name to the March of Dimes Foundation) providing research grants and scholarships to promising young students training in the science and care for polio patients.

It was through one of those scholarships that Dr. Jonas Salk became a virologist.  It seemed especially fitting that he would be the one who gave us the vaccine that practically eradicated polio worldwide by the 1960s.

God gave us each unique abilities.  If you think your talents are simply for you to make a lot of money, retire, and die, you’ve missed the point of your life.  God gave you talents to benefit others, not yourself.  And God gave other people talents that benefit you.   

Lord, let Your energy flow through us, giving us the power to serve others.  Teach us to use the gifts that You’ve given us to make the world better for all humankind.  Amen.

No Cheer This Year

“Be joyful always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances." ~ 1 Thess. 5:16-18

The country wasn’t in much of a Christmas spirit in 1941.  Japan's surprise attack on Pearl Harbor just weeks earlier had thrust America into a world in conflict.  While Americans attempted to go about celebrating as usual, the reality of the just-declared war was on everybody’s mind.

Christmas lights strung along Oahu’s main shopping districts had all been torn down or turned off. New bikes, wagons and dolls that would have been Christmas presents were still sitting on docks in San Francisco, shoved aside as the weapons and supplies of war were readied for the island.

For Hawaiians, it was a time of sadness and fear.  More than 2,500 young men had been buried after the attack.  Local gardens gave up their red poinsettias and hibiscus for small bouquets on each grave.

Even as they grieved, civilians feared another invasion by Japan; indeed, enemy submarines were sporadically shelling island ports and harbors.  Within a month of the attack, 30,000 women and children left Hawaii, worrying about their safety.

At Pearl Harbor, a massive salvage operation was under way.  Damaged ships with functioning weapons were stripped or repaired.  Dry docks ran around the clock.  In less than a week, the Army extended its runway to accommodate the largest bombers of the day to land.

The military's speed was not limited to construction and repair; it also moved quickly to control Hawaii's civilian population, fearful that Americans of Japanese ancestry would help the enemy.  Nearly 1,500 local Japanese were eventually interned.

Three men would help Americans rekindle their Christmas spirit . . . of joy and peace and God.

First, Prime Minister Churchill and President Roosevelt gave a joint press conference on Christmas Eve from the Oval Office before the annual lighting of the National Christmas tree.  The 1941 tree would be the only one ever inside the White House grounds.

FDR reminded the radio audience, “Our strongest weapon against this war is the conviction of the dignity and brotherhood which Christmas signifies.  We set our faith in human love and in God’s care for us all.”

In his address, Winston Churchill called on listeners to “Let the children have their night of fun and laughter.  Let the gifts of Father Christmas delight their play. Let us grownups share to the full in their unstinted pleasure, before we turn again to the stern tasks and formidable year that lie before us.”

Third, “White Christmas," written by the formidable composer and lyricist Irving Berlin premiered Christmas Day on Bing Crosby's weekly NBC radio program, The Kraft Music Hall. Crosby’s rendition went on to become one of the most commercially successful singles of all time, and a bedrock standard in the American songbook. 

Lord of Peace, “we need [Your] guidance; that [our] people may be humble in spirit but strong in conviction; steadfast to endure sacrifice, and brave to achieve a victory of liberty and peace.” ~ FDR December 24, 1941

Final Exam

“My grace is all you need.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

Energy drinks, snacks?  Check.   Textbooks, notes, highlighters?  Double Check!

It was her second all-nighter this week.  Sara hated taking tests.  She was way smarter than the grades she got.  Tomorrow’s exam on “Theological Issues” left her clueless.  She wouldn’t know the answers; she probably wouldn’t even understand the questions.  But Sara trudged on.

The loud banging at her door woke her abruptly.  Sara checked her phone.  Damn!  She’d missed several calls from a friend who’d called rightly fearing Sara had fallen asleep. 

She threw on some clothes, grabbed a pencil off her desk, and scrambled out the door.

As she scurried past Memorial Hall, she stepped wrong, sprained her ankle and fell in the crosswalk.  At the same moment, a city bus drove by adding to her embarrassment by having about 15 people watch Sara fall flat on her face.  Sara rose quickly, brushed herself off and limped to Avery Hall as fast as she could.  She arrived just as Monsignor was handing out the exam. 

“Leave them face down on the desk until everyone has one and I’ll tell you when to start,” he instructed.

When Sara turned it over, every answer on the test was filled in! The bottom of the last page said the following:

“This completes your Final Exam.  All these answers are correct; you’ll receive an ‘A’ on this test. The reason you passed the test is because the test’s creator took it for you.  All your prep work didn’t help - you have just experienced . . . GrAce.”

Monsignor went around the room and asked each divinity student individually, “Do you deserve the grade you are receiving?  How much did all your studying help you achieve your final grade?”

Not usually prone to crying, Sara fought back tears imagining how the Creator has passed the test for her.  Only through Jesus Christ are we offered grace, a free gift.  All and every success we have is not ours, but rather a result of God's grace at work in us.

Monsignor said he’d never done this kind of final exam before and probably would never do it again.  But because of the content of many of the class discussions, he felt like they needed to experience grace to understand it.

God’s grace is amazing!  As the undeserved, unearned favor from God, grace can never be earned by our good deeds or received as a result of religious performance.  Grace means God freely and openly receives us sinners - even you with all our flaws and hang-ups.  His grace transforms an ugly, awkward, incomplete caterpillar into a graceful butterfly that can soar into life abundant. That’s His desire for each of us.

God of Love, thank You for the many, many blessings we enjoy this day: the air we breathe, the fresh water to quench our thirst, the beauty of this world where we live.  Help us to live a life of cheerfulness and have faith in all that is good.  Amen