“Jesus said, Father, forgive these people.” ~ Luke
23:34
Pvt. Brian Engelhard, 3d U.S.
Infantry Regiment, surveyed the scene before him with what combat veterans
describe as the thousand-yard stare; a gaze that says he’s seen the horrors of
war and will never forget them.
A vast sea of white lay before him as if someone had planted
the seeds for the garden of stone before him.
He wondered how many, knowing that the true answer was “too many.”
Trudging across the marble field, he stopped at each
headstone and placed a flag one in front of each marker. He read each name and calculated every age. He realized that every person was too young to
be here; every soul cut down in its prime.
Silent and respectful of the sacrifices of those just below
his feet he soldiered on, determined to complete his mission before nightfall. The mournful sound of taps from across the
field brought him to knees. “Forgiving Lord,” he began with this
heartfelt prayer:
After I returned home from serving my
country, I trashed everything that had anything to do with the military. I got rid of pictures, my uniform and those
medals. In that way, I expressed my
determination never again to fight in a war.
I wish I could bring back the people I know
I killed, but I can’t. And I imagine
every murderer feels the same way. I
visit men in prison now, and when I hear their stories, I tell them that
without God’s forgiveness, I’m no different than any other murderer.
We wish we could bring our victims back to
life and ask their forgiveness. But
we’re not in that position, and so we simply have to accept Your forgiveness. Thank you Lord, Amen.”
Pvt. Engelhard struggled to his feet
and continued putting more flags in front of the headstones. By the grace of God, he’d found peace by
confessing the things that had burdened him.
He still regrets the past and will forever feel it’s torment. But God’s mercy had provided closure on the
sins of war; they no longer had power over him.
When we think of the pain so many veterans suffer evidenced
by the troubling rates of suicide, homelessness, mental illness and drug abuse,
we should think of Jesus, who was mocked and whipped, cursed and nailed to a
cross. We should remember his words as
he hung dying: “Father, forgive these people.”
Let’s each face our own guilt and brokenness and allow ourselves to be
converted and healed.
Father, as we remember our veterans this year, help
us acknowledge the lasting pain so many carry.
Forgive us - for being indifferent to their anguish, too self-concerned
to share their burden, or unwilling to listen when their ghosts surface? Amen
