“Let nothing separate what God has joined together." ~ Matthew
19:6
Make no mistake; Lucille hadn’t
passed away, at least in body. But the
scourge of Alzheimer’s had left her barely recognizable to her friends. But her husband Ruben loved her just as much
as the day in 1943 when they were married.
They’d known each other almost their whole lives. She was literally, the girl next store!
Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s many years ago, she suffered frequent
disorientation, mood swings and aphasia which impaired her ability to remember
what occurred from one day to the next. Yet,
he listened patiently when she talked, rambled, and tried to reminisce,
treasuring those few times when she remembered something, no matter how fleeting
it was.
Ruben helped compensate for her diminishing abilities while
always trying to ensure the respect that had defined their relationship for
over 75 years. Times were not easy, but they
persevered through tears with laughter; sorrow with joy, and always filled with
LOVE.
He admitted the difficulties of watching the love of his
life fade away, but Ruben made a daily effort to remind Lucy how much he
appreciated her. "Every time I saw
her, I told her how magnificent her smile was; what a great life we had
together, and thanked her for all she’d given me.”
Recently they lived in separate rooms at a nursing home. Not because Ruben was no longer able to care
for his dear wife; he was still Lucy’s primary care giver. He kept her safe and free from worries,
responsibilities, and fears. They lived
separately because Lucy started claiming that they weren’t married anymore.
One day Lucy looked at Ruben through silvery tears. In a barely audible voice she whispered, “I
think it’s time you marry me Ruben.”
For moment he was speechless. “But of course, my darling, I'd be delighted
to marry you.”
Ruben wasn’t sure Lucy would remember because of her chronic
memory loss. But the next morning at
breakfast, she recalled everything and couldn’t wait for their wedding
day. So he decided to tie the knot
(again) the following weekend.
Sweet Lucy passed away the day before the (re)wedding.
So instead of gathering to witness their renewal ceremony, family
and friends filled the church to memorialize Lucy’s life. Sometimes the Pastor explained, “God provides living angels to inspire those
who face adversity in their own marriages. Their love was in kind deeds, thoughtful
actions, trustworthiness and self-sacrifice - especially in times of trouble,
of hardship and failing health. It transcends time, distance and even
mortality.”
We can’t fully appreciate the graces reaped by the example
of this loving couple. And if you’re not
quite there yet, don’t give up. Have
full confidence that God will help you get there!”
Lord, it’s hard to watch my loved one decline. Give me strength during difficult caregiving
situations and protect me from discouragement. Give me a willing spirit to see
things from different perspectives so I may grow come closer to You. Amen
