“The second greatest commandment is “Love others as
yourself." ~ Mark 12:30
Karyn was in the middle of a busy day
when her cell phone buzzed. “Mom again!”
She’d been so lonely since Dad died; always seeking company,
asking for little favors that’d draw Karyn in for another "quick"
visit. Mom always found plenty to talk
about.
But the shoe store loomed ahead, new sales on all the styles
she’d forced herself to walk past for months. Karyn silenced her phone; Mom wasn't ruining
this for her.
There was daughterly duty and then there was soft Italian
leather. No contest really. Two hours later she’d spent nearly $700. She had all year to pay it off and perhaps
with a few carefully placed hints - Mom would settle her debt (again). “She'd earned it lately,” she reasoned.
Karyn unmuted her phone, 12 missed calls ... from the ER. “Oh God!” she gasped racing to the hospital; fighting the urge to admit guilt.
Karyn pulled back the ER curtain
to a lifeless patient, unconscious from a nasty fall. Memories began flooding her brain like a hammering
tide.
Her Mom wasn’t formally educated; she gave up dreams and
aspirations in exchange for a family. She
spent money and time on her kids; barely any on herself. Selfless, wise, and practical.
“How would she manage if the “rock” that held everything together
left the earth today,” Karyn wondered through salty tears. All she wanted to do was lay in bed with her
Mom and cuddle.
It would be several hours before the doctor somberly
approached. Mom would remain in an
induced coma until the swelling subsided, but she would LIVE.
It gave Karyn time: 1)
time for fear to recede; 2) time for reflection, 3) time to rebuild a relationship
that’d gone stale.
Sometimes God uses fear and helplessness to show things we
normally can’t see. For Karyn, fear may
have been the most effective way to get her attention.
“Giving yourself a
little attention isn’t selfish – it’s sensible,” she thought. If I feel
genuinely loved and cherished, I’ll have more to give others. But ‘loving’
doesn’t mean ‘indulging’ oneself.”
To that end, she invented a new word be added to the dictionary:
‘self-ful’ (as in ‘helpful’, ‘grateful’, ‘purposeful’). The self-ful person loves and cares for
themselves as much as they love and care for others. They neither give too much or too little.
She took a hard look at her schedule and the routines in her
life in order to create room for self-ful living. It created a margin for helping her Mom (and
others) reclaim a sense of dignity that they often haven’t felt in a long time,
showing them that someone does think they are important, and assisting them in
regaining their self-worth.
God always has a better plan!
Lord, protect me from a small, selfish
mindset. Help me to be the kind, gentle
person You want me to be. Especially, at
times when I only seem to care about “me”.
Amen
