“Come to Me, all who are tired and troubled, and I will give you rest." ~ Matthew 11:28
Both were single parents - neither
was looking for love. But Brent (69) saw
something special in her. After several refusals,
Geri (63) finally agreed to go out with him.
They’ve been together ever since.
Love’s seed had been planted, grew slowly, blossomed, and flourished.
Three years after their first meal together, Brent was
diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
He didn’t hide or deny it nor let it rule their lives. For 7 more years, it never did. Their friendship deepened into a loving bond;
just being together was enough. Sure, there
was frustration in his growing incompetence and anxiety when he didn’t know where
Geri was. But Brent never declared war on
the disease; acceptance opened plenty of opportunities.
They enjoyed simple things.
Familiarity, routines, and patterns are very important in helping a
person with dementia lead as normal a life as possible.
Halfway through their walk, they sat at a favorite bench - arms
around each other, snuggling, at peace with the world.
Brent constantly asked the same questions, ‘Where does this
river go?’ ‘What kind of clouds are
those?’ ‘When do the trees start to turn
colors again?’
It kept Geri on her toes.
When asked again the next day she answered respectfully. Eventually, he’d always get around to asking,
“Why are you still with me?”
He forgot the answer every day, so her reply was like new to
him each time he heard her say, "I’ll always be there for you darling, and
will take care of you for the rest of our lives because I love you and always
will.”
Brent’s mind was still sharp though his memory was
fading. But the windows of “good”
moments grew shorter and less frequent. Alzheimer's
takes away so much - but fortunately, love is almost always the last to go.
Geri wrote in her Journal, “Dementia hasn’t diminished
Brent’s value. I find peace and
privilege in walking with him, and a depth of love previously unknown. Without illness, I wouldn’t have held his hand
so much. I found the purest kind of love
imaginable. How beautiful that I have a
heart to break. He may forget me but I won’t
ever forget him.”
When we flip to the final chapters in God’s story, we discover
that God’s grace is not about our talents and intelligence making us worthy. It’s all about His undeserved gift of mercy
and love.
God my Redeemer, help
use the heartache of dementia to accomplish Your ultimate purpose. Help the proud be humbled, the caregivers
sanctified. Let us all critique our
basic assumptions and values about aptitude and functional capacities. Amen
