Fighting Addiction

“Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.” ~ Hebrews 13:1

WARNING: This may be painful to read. But, if you know someone who’s dealing with their child’s addiction, this letter might help. When we shift our behavior as parents, it changes our kids’ behavior - even when they’re 40-year-old adults.

Dear Son:

I’m writing again to ensure there’s no confusion about what I’m about to say.

I’ve never wavered in my love for you, or in my willingness to do whatever for your health and safety. Your addiction is painful for me to believe and admit. I can no longer look the other way, hoping things will improve for you as long as you continue drinking.

Life’s messy, especially when you’re struggling with addiction. When you’re willing to acknowledge all you’ve lost and accept the truth of how alcohol has destroyed your life, I know you have the strength to reclaim your life. But you’ll need help. So, you have two options:

1.    Quit drinking and do whatever’s needed to take back control of your life; or

2.    Continue feeding your addiction until it eventually takes your life.

If you choose to quit drinking, I’ll support you with either of these choices:

Participation in a Residential Treatment Program where you’ll live for 90 days and find help and support from people who know the difficulties of alcoholism and are themselves struggling toward sobriety.

Continue living at the house your Mom and I bought for you so long as you stop drinking. This won’t be business as usual. You must agree to meet weekly with a skilled addiction counselor. She’ll recommend a doctor for a complete physical exam and who will care for your medical needs and conduct random alcohol tests.

You will attend AA meetings 2x a week with a sponsor of your choosing, and 2x a week on your own. We’ll monitor your attendance to all of the above.

If you refuse to stop drinking, you can remain in your home doing whatever you do there: smoke, drink, and talk to yourself. It is only a matter of time before you’ll be hospitalized (again) or in jail. You will no longer be welcome in our home.

I’ll never give up on you or stop loving you, but at our age, your Mom and I can no longer tolerate the stress of living with constant fear and worry. It’s not our illness, but its effects are shared. We hide what we’re feeling. We hide the truth from those around us. We both suffer the shame and carry the blame.

We pray you’ll take this opportunity to seek help and begin the journey toward health and sobriety. When that day comes, we’ll celebrate together! And until that day, we pray that somehow you know that we both love you more than you could possibly understand.

Love, Dad

Father God, thank You for loving us perfectly despite our failures and those of our children. Remind us that addictions can be healed. Surround us with qualified and godly people to help us live with sobriety. Amen

An Obedient Heart

 “Teach me thy way, Lord, and lead me down the right path." ~ Psalm 27:11

When his country called him to battle in 1917, a personal war raged within 30-year-old Alvin York. He was torn between being a good Christian and a good American. That was his nation’s fight; the Germans weren’t his enemy.

He applied for status as a Conscientious Objector, hoping to avoid armed conflict. After numerous appeals failed, and in discussions with his pastor, York reported for basic training determined to pull his own weight, while still holding onto his core Christian values.

As combat training drew to a close, pressure to make his final decision became unavoidable. Alvin’s commander, a Christian himself, issued the conflicted Tennessean a home pass and urged him to study the Scriptures relating to war, self-defense, and obedience.

Back in Appalachia, deep in prayer and contemplation, he would pray, study, and evaluate the dilemma between his faith and patriotism. He consulted with religious leaders who represented both sides of the issue to keep the query balanced. Alvin studied the Bible and biographies of men who faced similar crossroads. The man spent hours meditating in solitude, considering what he’d studied and what others had shared with him.

The Lord answered him on those Smokey Mountains and relieved his burden. He concluded that he would not have to disobey God to honor his country and confidently stepped onto the battlefields of northeastern France.

There in 1918, the dawn’s silence was shattered by sickening death as German machine guns on a distant ridge erupted with devastating accuracy. His best friend was killed in the assault.

Pinned down with 85% of his comrades dead or wounded, Corporal York summoned his expert hunting skills to muzzle the Nazi guns.

Racing, crawling, and sneaking from bush to rock for cover, Alvin crawled up the hill from where the fire originated. He single-handedly silenced 35 machine guns and convinced 132 German soldiers to surrender.

For his courage, Seargent York received the Medal of Honor. But what he valued most was knowing that countless men survived because he’d stopped the killing.

God delivered York from his internal battle so he could lead others to victory. He’d trusted God to carry him beyond his doubts and give him the special talents necessary to further His Kingdom. But this story’s lesson focuses more on making tough decisions.

Rather than asking “God, what should I do?” York made his own decision based on faith, advice, prayer, and study. Only then did he listen for God’s confirmation or rejection.

Ultimately, we must take responsibility for making choices that settle our hearts. Spending time on His Word and praying can help us recognize God's voice and hear what He has for our hearts.

Father God, I look to no one else for wisdom and humbly ask for Your help in making important decisions in my life. Bless me with our guidance and wisdom so I make decisions that bring glory to Your name. Amen

God's Influencer

 “Christ enlisted special servants to do His earthly work and build the church." ~ Ephesians 4:11-12

By some accounts, Carlo Acutis was a normal teenager. He loved playing his PlayStation, enjoyed pizza, talked a lot, and was a bit of a class clown. An animal lover, he enjoyed many pets and frequently brought home stray animals.

Acutis was born to wealthy Italian parents in London in 1991, but the family moved to northern Italy shortly after his birth. Studying at a Jesuit school, he embraced the motto: “Dio, non io.” (God, before me!). Carlos became a devout Catholic who received his First Communion at age 7. He attended mass every day and loved praying the rosary.

Even at an early age, the young boy had a knack for consoling others, whether helping friends whose parents were going through a divorce, peers bullied by other pupils, or girls being harassed. His soft approach to resolving conflicts provided warmth, understanding, and patience.

Villagers were especially impressed with Carlo’s love and concern for the poor - how he interacted with the homeless man who sat on the church’s steps or routinely brought containers filled with food out to random people living on the streets.

As he grew into his teens, he became fascinated with the Internet. Showing wisdom beyond his years, the boy taught himself to program and built websites with a spiritual focus. His most creative project was a global catalog of Eucharistic miracles and the documented appearances of the Virgin Mary throughout history.

Tragically, he developed acute promyelocytic leukemia in 2006 and died less than two weeks later at the age of 15. Some of the city's poorest residents who Acutis had helped, came to pay their respects at his funeral. His body lies in an open tomb in Assisi, wearing blue jeans and sneakers.

The call for Acutis to be canonized (proclaimed a Saint), began not long after his death.

First, Acutis was beatified in October 2020, after the Vatican officially recognized his intercession from Heaven in 2013 to save the life of a Brazilian child who suffered from a deadly pancreatic condition. The Vatican said the 3-year-old was completely healed after praying to Acutis and coming into contact with a relic of his clothing.

Pope Francis recognized a second posthumous miracle attributed to Carlo’s intervention in 2024. It involved the healing of a 21-year-old Costa Rican girl who wasn’t likely to survive a serious head injury from a bicycle accident in 2022. The girl was discharged from the ICU 10 days after her mother’s pilgrimage to Carlo’s tomb.

Pope Francis’ recognition of the second miracle made it possible for the deceased 15-year-old Italian web designer, popularly dubbed “the Patron Saint of the Internet,” to become the Catholic Church's first millennial generation saint this year during the church's jubilee year.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Carlo’s short life, a model for young people, and a message of love for all. Give us the honor of calling him “Saint,” for his work with his peers and the poor, whom he loved and helped. Amen

Sand Dollar Mysteries

 “[In Heaven] there will be no more death, sorrow, crying, or pain." ~ Revelation 1:4

Quinn, his wife, and a gifted artist left this world to join the Lord after her debilitating fight against brain cancer. Since her death five years ago, Bradyn still struggles with her loss.

He’s well aware of the logic - Quinn is with God, perfect once again and free of all pain, suffering, and tears. But the grief from missing her remains overpowering.

As he walked along the beach at daybreak, Braydyn prayed for any sign that might connect him with his soulmate again. A butterfly, cardinal, or even a rainbow - anything for some reassurance that all would be ok.

At low tide, the beach was littered with tiny pieces of broken seashells. Brayden turned toward a rising sun that warmed a gentle passion in his heart. “Every day the sun comes up,” he thought, “brings new hope. We can always count on God’s promises.”

He turned to continue his walk. Not ten paces ahead, he gently picked it up, lightly brushed off the sand, and felt tears tumble from his cheeks. Some may read this with skepticism, merely a coincidence. But for Braydyn, it was a prayer answered.

Their delicate, intricately patterned shells are considered a prized treasure at the beach. Scientists believe that about 150 different species exist in coastal waters today. These little ocean creatures carry a message about the world’s history and God’s purpose in creating them.

Sand dollars are akin to sea urchins. When they wash up on the beach and are bleached by the sun, they look like a large coin, hence the nickname.

With their intricate patterns and delicate shapes, they’ve captured our imaginations for centuries. Archeologists found sea fossils belonging to the same genus in Mount Everest’s limestone which help validate the biblical accounts of the global Flood recorded in Genesis 6-9.

It’s said that Jesus left the sand dollar as a symbol to help teach the Christian faith.

On one side, there’s an outline of a poinsettia, the Christmas flower symbolizing Jesus’ birth. The flip side of the shell displays a star-like image, reflecting the Star of Bethlehem that guided those wise men to the newborn Christ Child.

Five surface holes are said to depict Jesus’ wounds. Spines on the surface portray the crown of thorns worn during his crucifixion. A silhouette of an Easter lily circling the star represents His resurrection.

If you carefully break open a sand dollar, five white, dove-shaped pieces emerge. These are said to symbolize peace and the joy that spread while Jesus roamed the earth.

Whether you’re drawn to their beauty, intrigued by their symbolism, or simply appreciate their unique shape and patterns, sand dollars continue to inspire us. Just ask Bradyn.

“This simple little symbol, Christ left for you and me, to help to spread His Message through all eternity. Now break its center open, and here you will release, five white doves waiting to spread goodwill and peace.” Amen (“Legend of the Sand Dollar,” Unknown)

He's Found Enough

“You were made from dust, and to dust you will return.”~ Genesis 3:19

Working as a grave digger isn’t a dead-end job, although technically, every workday is a graveyard shift. For Allen McCloskey (89), it has been his passion for over seventy years.

His unconventional career began in his late teens when a local grave digger at one of Galveston’s cemeteries asked him to cover for him so he could take his wife on vacation. After the man returned, he convinced Allen to keep on diggin’. For the next 5 years, Allen manually dug nearly 500 graves until he could afford a used backhoe.

Grave digger jobs are found not only on the margins of vocational choices but also at the bottom rung of the funeral profession. They often get strange looks and questions about their motivations. Maybe not a dream job, but for Allen it’s been a fulfilling one.

After the casket has been lowered, while tears flow, and people leave the burial site, McCloskey shovels dirt into the now-occupied hole. His role puts him inside the circle of the departed’s mourners. It’s a calling that requires tact, skill, and emotional sensitivity.

He's been carving out plots from the Indiana soil since 1952: 25,000 days on the job and thousands of graves. In 2021, he became the Guinness world record holder for the longest grave-digging career. Turns out that the man who lifts Galvestonians up is the same man who puts them down.

“I’ve buried plenty of classmates, friends, and family members, including my parents. It’s really sad when I have to bury babies.” But the toughest job of all was preparing a burial site for his beloved wife, Barbara. When asked how he got through it, he said: “Well, I figured she’d want me to do it.”

At a surprise party to celebrate his achievement, the town’s residents also honored him for the plethora of odd jobs he’s done and the ways he’s made life easier for the people of Galveston, all without accepting a single payment.

When asked why he refused to accept payment, McCloskey politely laughed. “Preparing a final resting place is reward enough!” So, he still digs graves.

Allen has figured out that there’s more to life and happiness than money. He’s okay with who he is and doesn’t need to change to be more worthy or loved. A close friend added: “He’s always placed a higher value on quality relationships, time with loved ones, and helping others.”

Honorable, hard-working, and humble. He's found ‘enough!'

The strange thing about finding enough? Sometimes, you end up with even more. “I never expected to spend my life in a cemetery," McCloskey noted dryly, “but I’ll retire someday - on the other end of the shovel.”

God our Father, at this sacred place and in Your Divine presence, we pray for all who are buried here. Now freed from the bonds of mortality, count them among the saints in heaven. Continue to enfold them in Your mercy, love, and peace. Amen

Rusty Companion

 “Wisdom comes from the blessing of a long life." ~ Job 12:12

As a much younger man, Matt drove his parent’s ‘66, a Ford Mustang affectionately named Annie. The vehicle of choice for many young drivers in the 60s came in a variety of colors, engines, and transmissions. But Matt loved the yellow, inline 6, 200 cu in, automatic he got to drive.

Today, it's not a rust-bucket. That would require structural integrity. It’s been devolving since the late 90s, except for the spiders and rodents gnawing on what little upholstery remains.

Before Annie’s mandatory retirement, she sputtered on acceleration and backfired before the engine shut off. It burned oil. Bald tires could no longer hold patches. Her AM radio tunes mostly static, and the retro cassette player skips every time he hits a minor bump.

An even coat of rust covers most of her body with only a few yellow spray cans having attempted to hide it. Annie’s been rotting long enough that the weeds underneath her have accepted the car as one of their own. Friends tease that they’ve spotted buzzards circling the old gal.

His friend’s Dad, a mechanic, kept the car going for years longer than it should have lasted. As soon as he fixed one problem, something else would break down. He grumbled each time he worked on her. Still, the junker was all he could afford at the time, so Matt kept praying that Annie would hang on for a few more miles.

Finally, one morning he fired her up, put Annie in gear, and the transmission ground pointlessly without engaging. The time had finally come for her peaceful death. He opened the door and sat for a few moments grieving the loss of a beloved companion.

Matt tilted back in a seat that felt like a warm hug, dreaming for Annie to launch him on one last thrill ride. The power he imagined coming through the steering wheel brought memories of a raging bull breaking away screaming and ripping for freedom.

Joyful memories unfolded like the pages of a beloved storybook. He starting to have the same feelings about his own body.

Matt felt like a young soul driving an aging clunker. His back hurts daily. His five senses, memory, and energy are no longer as keen as they used to be. Although doing his best to eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep to slow the decay, he gets a little older every passing day.

Then Matt resets his mood for sunnier days ahead. In the end, he knew our bodies aren’t who we are, but temples of the Holy Spirit stewarding the earthly tent the Lord has given us. We are Children of God put here to live, learn, and love. And when it finally breaks down for good, we’ll happily let it go and return Home again.

Father God, help us realize that aging brings greater joy for those who are in Christ. Guide us in fleeing the temptations of worldliness, choosing instead to do what honors and glorifies You. Amen

The Bright Side

 “Children’s kids are a grandparents’ pride and joy." ~ Proverbs 17:6

Kelly was an optimist. Life rarely disappoints her because the sun always comes up… eventually. When God decides you need a lesson, all you can do is hang on and hope you can smile or laugh about it later.

Three months ago, she and her husband Michael exchanged their NYC brownstone for a dream home on a wooded lot near Schenectady. With their daughter’s blessing, it happened to be adjacent to her family’s lot. They’d always been close; now they were neighbors.

They built a Craftsman-style house sporting natural materials, an open floor plan, and a charming front porch. Their two children surprised them by hosting an open house and inviting several old friends from the city. Their dream of living near five grandkids became real.

A few months later, their son and his family packed up and left for his new job in Texas, 1,600 miles away. He’d been jobless for nearly a year. While they were excited for them, the feelings of grief and sadness were overwhelming. Kelly deeply missed them all.

At least their daughter’s crew still lived next door. When they took their two youngsters to Florida on a Disney adventure, the neighborhood felt empty and so lonely.

When they returned, her daughter couldn’t wait to share her good news. She’d landed a marketing promotion – one offering an attractive raise and terrific perks… in Cleveland, about 400 miles west.

For a time, the two were stuck in a persistent grief state; their hearts broken by the crushing loss of living near grandkids. On the best days, it was still a dull ache. Other grandparenting groups only reminded them of all the stuff they couldn’t do with their grandkids so far away. 

Life’s like that! Plans and expectations can turn into heartbreaks and disappointments. 

But God always has a better idea. There was a bright side.

As parents, Kelly and Michael had fulfilled their child-rearing responsibilities. Now it was their children’s turn to step into life’s challenges with maturity, courage, and purpose. The relationship wasn’t what they’d envisioned. But being a long-distance grandparent didn’t mean they couldn’t still be intentional, spiritual mentors.

Since their ultimate goal was to make certain the kids were loved, encouraged, and felt a sense of belonging, all that could be done from a distance. Technology provided ample creative ways to connect via email, video chats, and photo sharing. Cards and gifts (even for no specific reason), were always an option.

And when the opportunities arose, they’d make their visits memorable, so the grandkids would always look forward to them. With a little extra effort, sharing God’s love with grandchildren was always possible no matter how far away they were.

Lord, show us how to love our family well, no matter how far away they may be. Teach us what it means to honor our kids as they raise their own children. Open doors for us to be generous and helpful. Teach us to listen well and show them grace. Amen