“There is surely a future of hope for you, and your hope will never be cut off.” -- Proverbs 23:18
Lauren held the pills in her hand, fully prepared for whatever awaited her on “the other side”. She was at peace - feuds had been settled, important belongings had been given away, and those closest to her knew she loved them. She easily swallowed the fifteenth pill and then lay down on her bed calmly waiting for death to come.
She tried to clear her mind - which was hard. After all, what else is there to do while dying?
She fought the urge to be sentimental. There were some great times . . . but there were some truly dark times too, thus her current situation.
Her friends would probably miss her. She thought back on countless movies, parties, and pranks. What would things be like for them once she was gone?
Thoughts drifted to her family. As far as she knew, they weren’t aware of the depth of her despair. That had been her fault. She hid the scars of her loneliness. Maybe she should have opened up to them - they might have listened.
Lauren knew what would happen when they found her lifeless body. Her mom would cry hysterically and blame herself. Her dad would act brave around everyone else, but then fall apart in private. Her sweet little sister Jesse would be alone now. She would withdraw just the way Lauren had. She would block out the very people in her life that could help her. Lauren felt a sudden pang of guilt for her selfishness.
Then it hit her like a slap in the face - she really didn’t want to die. Life wasn’t so bad.
She tried to cry out, but she was getting weaker. With the little energy she had left, Lauren rolled off her bed - anything to make a thud, anything to make herself heard.
But it was too late. Her life was snuffed out just as easily as blowing out the flame on a candle. She was already gone: a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
If you know someone who is depressed, don't be afraid to talk to them. Reassure them that they are loved and that people (especially people in our Faith Community) want to help work out any problems. Be a good listener, don't judge, and don't dismiss any of their concerns. It's OK to directly ask if he or she has ever thought of killing themselves. If you think they are suicidal, get professional help for them immediately.
Dearest Lord. I know that you will never give up on me, but help me not to give up on myself. Please protect those who entertain suicidal thoughts. Let them feel my love and Your love. "Open the eyes of my heart Lord," let no pain go ignored. Amen.
