Park Bench Therapy

 “Help carry each other’s burdens." ~ Galatians 6:2

Kendra was returning to her car after a dental appointment that’d left her lips as swollen as an African Suri (tribeswoman with lip plates).  Frustrated by work as a young advertising specialist and in pain following dental surgery, she flopped onto a local park bench.

She didn’t notice the old man hobbling by until he said in a barely audible tone, “You know, you’d be a lot prettier if you smiled.”  He looked to be in his seventies, was clean enough-looking, but the stuffed shopping cart he pushed told a different story.

Kendra turned and launched into a tirade, as only a privileged, millennial could do, ranting about how she’d been in a car accident and her convertible now had a dented bumper; how the swollen lip made it embarrassing to return to a crapload of work.

“Oh my,” he said in the most inviting voice she’d heard in some time. “I’m a pretty good listener.  Wanna sit for a spell?”

Kendra did.  “Sometimes I just want to quit.  Nonstop talk of COVID, protests, looting, violence.  I feel lost in the ugliness; convinced that this is the new normal. 

For nearly 20 minutes, he listened respectfully.  

It was so cathartic that she felt like she’d been with a therapist.  Kendra got up to leave and handed him a $20 bill with grateful thanks for his compassion.

“Don’t go yet,” he said.  “We’re not done.”  He got up and bought two cups of coffee with her $20, then sat back down and helped her develop a plan to get her car fixed, how to prioritize the most urgent needs at work, and advice to suck on a tea bag to help reduce the swelling.

Then he offered one final thought.  “At 79,” he began, “I’ve lived through a lot – polio, diphtheria, Vietnam and civil rights protests, and financial ruin.

The man seemed surprised when Kendra interrupted by suggesting that 2022 must be especially difficult for him.  He looked straight into her eyes.

“Not really,” he said warmly.  “I learned long ago not to view the world through printed headlines.  I see the world through the good people that surround me.  I write my own captions.”

“Husband Surprises Wife With Flowers.”  “Girl Visits Grandma in Nursing Home.”  “Lost Kitten Found Unharmed.”  He patted her hand.  “Old Man Makes New Friend!”

His words sideswiped her worries, untethering them from the stress that’ left her hamstrung by fear.  Her headline now read “Woman Overwhelmed by Kindness!”

“Our capacity for love increases with every person we cross paths with.  But, too often we neglect those opportunities God places before us.  By the time we realize just how important that is, we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with.

Almighty Father, open my eyes to see you.  Open my ears that I might hear you when I cry, when I’m scared and when I feel crushed.  Help me anchor myself to You, Lord, and see the possibilities to bring good to this world for others.  Amen

Life Finds a Way

“His followers will thrive like watered grass; like willows on a riverbank." ~ Isaiah 44:3-4

The old saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words,” suggests that an image contains far more in color and content than words ever could.  But for those who love to write, carefully fashioned sentence structures have tremendous emotive power that bring pictures to life.

I don’t have a clue as to this incredible tree’s back story.  What follows is pure fantasy.

In a perfect world, every garden would have that perfect, loamy, well-irrigated soil, with just the right amount of sunshine, never too cold in winter or too hot and dry in summer.   Meanwhile back in the real world we face difficult, ofttimes unpredictable conditions.  Fortunately, there are a few hearty saplings that’ll survive, even thrive, in the most unlikely places.

Good timber doesn’t grow easily. Whether they're growing in the middle of gale-force winds, inside concrete tunnels, or even rising from a solid rock, some know how to survive in places where no other life finds a way.

Look around.  Nature’s creative projects surround us, each in their own way proclaiming God’s wisdom, magnificence and goodness. There’s so much we can learn.

There is no ‘perfect’ location for a seed to germinate or a root to sprout.  Trees will grow wherever conditions nurture them best. Take a page from nature’s handbook - explore freely?  Change can be good and there’s always more of the world to explore.

Just as this tree has the strength to weather decades of storms, we too must find the strength to endure all the ‘blows’ life presents.  Trees also have the ability to heal themselves.  For us, adversity is reality; so, it’s how we react that reveals our true character.

By burying its roots, a tree continuously matures through nutrient rich soil.  So must we sink our roots deeply, allowing our network of closest family and friends to provide spiritual sustenance, help us grow, and be the constant in our lives that keep us ‘grounded’.

Trees never die.  They’ll simply decompose into mother earth and become fertilizer for the seeds it scattered seasons ago.  We too are perpetually ‘becoming’.  When this dream ends, we’ll be    reborn into a new one prepared earlier with our karmic actions.  To achieve one’s greatness, you’ll need to tap into new levels of effort, discipline, grit and courage.

One final word.  Tree branches seem to reach toward Heaven, as if in prayer.  This reminds me that no matter, I should always remember that it doesn’t take much effort to reach my hands toward Heaven, whisper a prayer, and remember our Creator while admiring His creation.  What a wonderful time to prayerfully and playfully exploring the beauties and mysteries of God.

Lord, help me to cultivate my roots in You.  Gift my foundation with wisdom and my fruit with abundance.  Guide me so that I bend, not fall, when the winds of life blow - for many are the benefits of life with You!  Amen

Grandma's Infinitude

“God appeared to Joseph in a dream, warning him to go home another way." ~ Matthew 2:12-13

Was her grandma sending a warning??  For the second night in a row, Ruth had made a guest appearance in Sandy’s dreams, speaking to her with an anxious expression.  But she couldn’t decipher the message.

Up until 16 years ago, Ruth had lived with Sandy and her family.  She helped around the house and cared for their two young children.  Her health had been excellent for a septuagenarian.  

Ruth never sat still, either baking, socializing or volunteering at the local Mom's and Toddler’s group where she led the sing-a-long.  Just being around all those little ones gave her such energy.

Suddenly at 73, Ruth’s heart gave out in her sleep.  Losing her so suddenly was a terrible shock.

Through the years, during difficult times, she comforted Sandy in dreams, (Grandma’s are a frequent dream themes).  Dreaming of her Grandma often indicated family happiness.  Once she’d heard pleasant news regarding a family member.  Other times the dream was followed by an invitation to a wedding or some other family celebration.  More often though, the dream just brought wonderful childhood memories.

Last night’s dream was different.

Sandy vividly remembered standing in the doorway of their home; Ruth directly in front of her.  She was so happy to see her Grandma again.  Missing her still hurt so badly.

Ruth said something like "I know you do, but everything will be OK".  Sandy actually recalled how warm her sweater felt against her cheek, as if she was hugging Grandma for real.

But on this the third night in a row, alarm sounded in her voice; as if she was worried about somebody, someone close to her, somebody like Sandy!

The explanation came quickly: Ruth warned Sandy to seek medical attention.  She woke up shaking.  Otherwise, she felt perfectly normal.  What could be wrong?  Then it dawned on her.

She woke her husband and demanded they go the ER.  Better safe than sorry, he guessed, wondering privately if they’d even admit her.

At the hospital, an echocardiogram showed a balloon-like bulge in the heart’s aorta, that if ruptured, could quickly lead to death.  That exact condition had caused Ruth’s sudden death. 

Surgery followed immediately.  “You’re lucky,” the cardiac surgeon said candidly.  “Most people with this just die in their sleep.  There usually aren’t any warning signs.”

There was for Sandy.

Many things happen that we can’t explain or understand.  God’s guidance is more complicated than just bowing our heads and asking for it.  That’s partly because He uses many different means of connecting with us.  God may reach us through another person, an image, or even through a dream.  Remember - with Him, there are no coincidences.

Loving God, thank You for the chance to communicate with You for help, comfort and counsel.  If my dreams are an answer to my prayers or part of a special message You have for me, help me understand what You are trying to tell me.  Amen

Peacemakers

 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God." ~ Matthew 5:9

Red Cloud and White Cloud, twin Iroquois boys, jumped into fresh snowdrifts until their bronze bodies took on a raspberry tint.  Once the track was properly prepared, they’d launch their snow snakes skimming across the hard-crusted snow.

Snow snakes are sticks hand-carved from hickory and polished smooth with oil or wax.  One end of the snake is curved upwards; the other end notched making it easier to throw.  The object is to throw your snake the farthest distance along a smooth trough made in the snow. 

Their father, Long Moose, could throw his snow snakes nearly a quarter mile over the icy track.  But his were eight feet long and tipped with lead.  Theirs were merely 36”.

One morning the boys planned a completion to see who could throw their snake the farthest.  The bet would decide who could walk with Spotted Fawn to school the following week.

Each boy won 3 times.  The seventh and deciding throw was a draw; each claimed victory.  The tie sparked a heated quarrel for the prized courtship opportunity. 

Arguing quickly led to brawling.

Their mother broke from her cooking chores to intervene.  She calmly requested that the boys bring their snakes.  Rather than breaking them over her knee (as my father would have done), she showed them how to stand four snakes against each into what resembled a small teepee.

Leave your anger here she instructed.  Return after the next full moon.  If they lean toward the sun, Red Cloud wins.  If they lean toward the setting sun, then White Cloud won.  If they fell down, neither one of you is worthy of Spotted Fawn’s company.

After the moon had risen many times, the boy returned to the woods.  They gazed down at a heap of fallen sticks. 

“What did we set up those sticks for?” asked White Cloud.  “Can’t remember,” responded Red Cloud as they retrieved their snakes and resumed playing.

In Hebrew scripture, the word usually translated “peace” is shalom.  This word means much more than not being at war.  It can also be translated “salvation” or “fullness.”  Peacemakers are those who work to end conditions that constrict others’ lives.

The world so badly needs to hear the message of wholeness, of shalom, of the peace God wants for all of us.  Injustice, violence, economic and sexual exploitation, slavery in all its forms, and all the omissive evils that we see every day spring from a lust for power over others and greed.

Peacemakers implies this is not a task for any one of us alone.  Peacemaking is active.  It’s not enough to pray for peace or to try to live peaceably.  We must also work for justice, investing ourselves in our communities for the good of all.

God of all humanity, help us to live Your vision of reaching out and healing our broken world through the actions that personify the values of the eternal garden where Your will is being done.  Amen

There's Good in Every Evil

 “He’ll strengthen you with His righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

Two years ago this month, Ava’s Dad was hospitalized with Covid-19.  Protocols banned her from visiting him, hugging him or holding his hand as the disease ripped through his body.  Ultimately, Ava got the news she’d been dreading - he wouldn’t get better.  It was time to let him go.

For teenagers like Ava, the pandemic changed life forever, from morning routines to life goals and priorities.  For a while, she smoldered with resentment; rage nearly consumed her.

They say anger is the guardian of sadness; that the only escape is vulnerability.  So, she wrote this letter confronting COVID with the silver linings she’d later glean from the experience.

Dear COVID:

We, the citizens of the world, are rising up as a global healing community.  We’re shining our Light to announce that we acknowledge YOU, have mobilized against YOU, and realize that YOU actually arrived to teach us that we must change!  We can no longer be who we’ve been because it wasn’t working.  YOU won’t survive our healing Light.

So many lives were stolen from us.  So many plans were interrupted - birthdays, travels, weddings, even funerals.  Sadly, we can’t change that.  

But we’re not powerless!  On the contrary, we’re all working together to make the world a better place.  Not those empty New Year’s resolutions - but permanent changes!

The vulnerability you caused has made us more empathetic to others’ misfortunes.  We have a greater capacity for giving than we thought possible; that expressions of kindness are the ultimate stress busters and create a virtuous cycle.  

It’s also pretty clear to us that we don’t need so much stuff, or as many conveniences as we’ve become accustomed to.  We’ve found the money for that which is necessary; material has become largely immaterial. 

Relationships have become even more valuable.  Not only do we appreciate loved ones’ presence more (simple touches feel like magic), we’ve learned the importance of telling them how important they are and how unimportant petty grievances and resentments are.

YOU’VE deepened our sense of humanity - something that when scaled up will build kinder, more connected societies.  Our communications have become more purposeful; words more carefully chosen to elevate those around us, even strangers.

COVID, it’s now time for you to leave!  Our healthcare and first responders; mass transit, grocery, and transport workers; and all other essential workers need rest. 

We’re stronger now – better at change and resiliency; more comfortable being uncomfortable!  Working together for the common good has helped weaken YOU and will help us solve other worldwide problems requiring teamwork - like poverty, ethnic violence, and climate-based challenges.

We appreciate what YOU’VE shown us.  Our global healing community will continue to shine healing Light as YOU depart.  Ava

Almighty God, COVID crashed into our lives reminding us again that we are rarely in control.  It’s You, Lord, who’s ultimately in control.  Help us trust You to allay our fears and build a stronger, kinder, more humble global community.  Amen

Fall From Grace

 "Proud men end in shame, but the humble become wise." ~ Proverbs 11:2

The timebomb was ticking.  So softly that he couldn't even hear it.

George's ballpoint hovered over two blank lines.  The heading on the university’s “Personal Info” form read Academic and Athletic background.  Please be specific.

Maybe now he could chance it.  Now that he’d earned a million-dollar, multiyear contract, now that he'd won two ACC and one National Coach of the Year awards - that should be enough.

His pen pressed the paper.  Tic Tic Tic

For more than twenty years he’d included false claims on his resume.  He ‘decorated’ his story by claiming 3 college football letters despite never having worn a uniform.  He lettered in high school basketball (“All-League - County Champion), but his team lost in the championship final on George's missed buzzer shot.   

He also alleged to have earned a Master’s Degree from NYU-Stony Brook University, a fictitious institution fabricated from 2 schools 50 miles apart.  (He actually took two courses at Stony Brook but never graduated).

Those lies hadn’t been discovered at any of his previous coaching jobs; two sentences immaterial to what he’d already accomplished.  As a coach for more than 20 years, he’d proven he could build a career, work up the ladder, establish himself, and WIN.  He passed on the chance to come clean.

Notre Dame was looking for a new coach in late 2001.  George O’Leary’s candidacy became obvious: an Irish Catholic wholly enamored with Notre Dame.  Accolades from colleagues cited his extraordinary honesty and forthrightness.

The Irish hired him immediately over 50 other applicants.

The moment he set foot on campus all his doubts vanished.  O’Leary knew this was home.  The Golden Dome gleamed.  Everything was magic.  He gushed during an introductory news conference: “There are two great coaching jobs in all of sports: the NY Yankees Manager and Notre Dame’s Head Coach.”

Ka-Boom!!  Just five days later, George O’Leary resigned in disgrace.  His lies caught up with him.  

He stated: “Due to a selfish and thoughtless act many years ago, I’ve personally embarrassed Notre Dame, its alumni, and fans.  [Therefore], I resign my position as head football coach.”

It's not hard to figure out why O'Leary lied on his resume.  People do it all the time (cue Facebook, Twitter, etc.), for two reasons: 1) To appear more impressive to others and, 2) To feel more important themselves.  We’re all familiar with inflated, idealistic social-media personas.

True humility is seeing ourselves through God’s eyes.  George was afraid to look at himself honestly because of all the shortcomings he knew were there. 

But God’s approval isn’t something we can earn.  There’s no amount of effort on our part that’ll erase our flaws or make us perfect.  Whether we do something great or not, true believers have their Father’s love and approval unconditionally.

Jesus, Prince of all Truths, You epitomize the virtue of honesty. Please forgive my sins of pride and self-importance.  Help me be more transparent with You and with myself; that I conduct all of my affairs with honesty, integrity and fairness.   Amen

The Healing

 “Cast all your troubles on God; He loves you." ~ 1 Peter 5:7

The authenticity of this story is irrelevant.  But it illustrates a heartwarming lesson.

A prolific, early 20th-century novelist, Franz Kafka did his best to insulate himself from the dismal reality of Berlin’s spiraling unemployment, violence, and inflation.  Strolling through Steglitz Park, he chanced upon a young girl heartbroken by the loss of her favorite doll.

Moved by her tears and unable to remedy the pain of losing the doll, Kafka quickly devised a solution to calm her.  He explained that the doll had left on a long journey, but hadn’t forgotten her.  The doll had written her a letter and he’d bring it to her if she returned the next day.

Back home, Kafka wrote a letter, with the same feverish intensity he’d poured into his other classics.  He wouldn’t cheat the little girl; he insisted on getting it right.  

True to form, he returned the following day letter in hand.  When the girl spotted him, she raced toward him with an intoxicating smile; as if bursting with liquid sunshine.

Kafka handed her the letter which read in part: “Please don’t cry Petra.  I’ve gone on a long trip to see the world.  I promise to write you about my adventures."

That was the beginning of many letters.

Kafka returned every day for three weeks Kafka, fascinating her with written tales of her beloved doll’s incredible journey, letting the pain evaporate in the dreamy folds of his imaginary stories.  He focused exclusively on crafting the doll’s letters - for no reason other than to console a wounded child he’d run into by accident one random afternoon in the park.

During that time, the doll grew up, went to school, met people from many cultures.  He struggled to come up with the perfect ending, worried that if he failed, its magic spell would fracture.

The doll constantly reassured Petra of her love, but hinted at various complications that made it difficult for her to return home.  Little by little, Kafka seemed to be preparing the girl for the time when the doll will vanish from her life forever.

Eventually however, Kafka read her a letter that brought the doll back to Berlin.  He handed her a new doll that he’d purchased.

“This doesn’t look at all like my doll," Petra said.

Kafka handed her one final letter that explained, “Everything you love will eventually to be lost, but in the end, love will return in a different way."  

Petra girl hugged her new friend and took it home. 

She had the letters too!  When someone is lucky enough to live inside a make-believe story, the world’s pains soften.  Too often we hold onto something so tightly, or focus so intently on its loss, that we don’t notice all the other wonderful aspects of life that remain and waiting for us to grasp.

Lord, in Your mercy and kindness help me let go of all the fears and worries, problems and doubts, guilt and disappointments that fill my heart and mind today.  Amen