“Let the children come to Me. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them." ~ Matthew 19:14
The tiny tot blinked and gazed up at
his ginormous Dad in a vague haze. His
miniature frame had finally surrendered to exhaustion. Carl reached down and picked up his son
Jameson and carried him as if it were a hug that kept his heart in sinus
rhythm.
Within but a few steps, the boy snuggled into his Dad, safe
and secure, letting the world of dreams come in its fanciful way. Confirmation spread
across his normally expressive face; his chatty mouth had gone soft with sleep. Two hearts melding as one: connected, bonded,
indivisible.
Carl savored this precious time with his
son. He felt so light, looked so perfect,
and smelled so divine. He will be
Jameson’s protector for as long as he lives; love for him that will last for
all eternity.
His chest tightened. The extra weight was no bother, only the
anxiety of not knowing how many more times he’d get to carry him like
this. How long before Jameson will be
too big for his arms, too old for needing to be tucked in, too grown up for what
he was to him right now? It’s something that’ll
pass without witness and he dreaded it.
So for now, Carl would treasure the heft for as long as the boy lets him
carry it.
For now, he’ll breathe
in the scent of maple syrup and sweaty feet that boys emit and commit it to
memory. He’ll continue to lift him every
time he needs it, safely bring him where he needs to be, and leave him when it
is time to go. In short – he wants to
love Jameson as Jesus does. Perfectly!
He wondered: “When he
looks into my eyes, will he see the face of God looking back with eyes of
delight? When he hears my voice, will he
get a taste of Christ’s love for him? When
he’s being held, will he catch a glimpse of God’s heart beating wildly with
excitement in his future?
Of course, that’s impossible,
only Jesus can and does love perfectly.
But when His grace begins to transform our hearts, it also begins to
transform our parenting. It isn’t about
what we do, but what His grace does through us when we surrender to His
wholehearted acceptance of us. Until we
accept God’s wild, unrestricted love, we will struggle in vain to let it flow
through us to our kids.
