“Love does not dishonor others.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13: 4–5
Brooke never considered herself a mean teenager, but for almost
six months, she still felt ashamed of her cruel behavior. She had no reason to
be unkind, but she was.
Her “world” didn't view
bullying as evil or unnatural. Kids were called to the principal's office for disrespecting
teachers or smoking in the bathroom, but not for mocking other classmates. Her
crowd was ruthless and self-serving.
Since then, Brooke has
reflected on what made her choose others as “targets.” Experts say it’s about
feeling superior. In some cases, bullies were teased at home. Jealousy can also
lead to bullying. In her case, it
was just about following the "wrong crowd."
One of their victims
was a genius. Andy excelled in the most advanced high school courses and was exceptionally
gifted in complex mathematics. A National Merit Scholar, he won acceptance to several
prestigious universities.
Brook’s clique saw
Andy as lacking any social value. He was a geeky senior who still rode the
school bus. She never knew his name, but because of his weight, they called him
“Polar Bear.”
Brooke sat frozen at her
desk, staring vacantly. A tingling feeling of shame raced up her spine. She felt
ultimately responsible for Andy’s death.
After a fitful night’s
sleep, Brooke woke knowing it was time. She needed to pay respects to the man
who’d lost his only son and take responsibility for her part in his death.
After breakfast, Brooke drove to the Lehman’s home. With no
prepared apology for a grieving father, she didn’t know what to expect.
She told the story
that had nauseated her since Andy’s suicide. Three hours later, Brooke knew
Andy much better. They’d both suffered from depression and had considered
suicide. The combination of their bullying and his anxiety ultimately led to
his death.
The encounter took
days to sink in. The man welcomed her into their home and appreciated her
sharing a broader piece of his son’s struggles. He showed no anger - only love.
After graduation,
Brooke joined Andy’s Dad at the Suicide Prevention Education Alliance, as a
certified speaker throughout the Cleveland area. She delivers a clear, genuine
message.
“Our words matter. They often hurt more than physical pain.
I knew nothing about Andy and had neither the courtesy to care nor the courage to
stop taunting him. I’ll live with that burden for the rest of my life. Andy
became a part of me when he died, forever engraved on my heart. His legacy
lives on through me, as I seek to prevent teen suicide.”
Father of Mercy, hear our prayer for friends
who struggle with various forms of depression - from mild melancholy to the
relentless pangs of suicidal depression. Teach us how to love in complex and
dark places. Amen
