“We make our plans, but the Lord guides our steps." ~ Proverbs 16:9
She was miserable until age 29. One heartbreak after
another kept stealing her cheerfulness.
Shari lost her Mom ten years ago to MS. She’d rapidly become
a prisoner in her own body relying on a wheelchair and adult diapers. Mercifully,
she passed away from a stroke that eliminated her pain and helplessness but
left behind a loving husband and two 20-something daughters.
Each confronted their grief differently.
Her 22-year-old sister developed a ‘brief’ drug habit. Shari’s
Dad found her unresponsive atop her childhood bed surrounded by stuffed animals
and adolescent memories. She passed away in her sleep from a fentanyl overdose
seven months after losing her mother.
Dad never recovered. Shari cared for him while he battled
depression, loneliness, and guilt. She watched a man who’d provided an idyllic
childhood for them, complete with campouts and road trips, collapse into
someone who could no longer drive. Four years of heavy drinking following
the loss of his soulmate and daughter
ended in a horrific car accident that took away his pain forever.
Now in her doctor’s uninspired exam room, Shari waited
anxiously for the test results. She heard lump… malignant… oncologist… breast
surgery, followed by an expression of empathy and “I’m so sorry.” She must have
blocked out the ‘C’ word.
“This CAN'T be happening,” she sobbed in the vacant room.
After a year of negative pregnancy tests, she and her husband were in the
throes of fertility treatments. They were on a path to finally having a family.
The grief was supposed to be behind her. She was chasing what others achieved
so easily: happiness.
Happiness seemed like a mirage in the desert.
Despite the pain and expense, she didn’t want to board the journey
with bald women with no eyebrows, where friends do fundraising walks and take
turns driving her for treatments.
Pregnancy will have to wait for 5 to 10 years.
Shari is no longer convinced that she needs more than she
already has to find happiness. She learned to be grateful and find joy every
day. It’s not something given or earned; the answer lies within.
During times of grief, sadness, or pain, her thoughts are
hers to choreograph - true joy exists regardless. It’s not transient; you don’t
have to catch or chase it, nor does it depend on your moods. Happiness is
always available… with a little practice.
Life can be difficult, but happiness can coexist, even in
dark times of grief or sorrow. Laughter can share space with pain. Joy can be
found every day and everywhere.
Heavenly Father, thank you for our free
will. Because You are guiding the path ahead of me, I have nothing to fear. I
enjoy setting goals and having dreams for the future, but I trust Your plan for
what’s best for me. Amen
