“Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. -- Psalm 37:7
Tommy was a “piece of work!” who added lively debate to Dr. Roy Baker’s Theology of Faith class.
A self-proclaimed "atheist," Tommy constantly objected to and smirked at the prospect of an unconditionally-loving God. It was mostly peaceful discourse – but Roy would admit privately that Tommy was a serious ‘pain’ in his back row.
When he turned in his final exam, Tommy asked cynically: "Do you think I'll ever find God?"
"No!" Roy quipped emphatically. "I don't think you'll ever find Him . . . but I’m absolutely certain that He’ll find you!"
"What's it like to be twenty-four and dying?" Roy asked tenderly.
Tommy answered, "It could be worse!” I could be your age and have wasted my life; thinking that booze, hustling women, and making money are life’s real treasures. I thought a lot about what you told me that day about God finding me.”
“When the doctors told me the lump they removed was malignant,” Tommy continued, “I started searching for God. And when my condition got worse, I seriously began banging my bloody fists on heavens’ gates. No friggin’ answer; nothing changed! So one day, instead of throwing a few more fruitless appeals to a God who wasn’t listening, I quit! No more thoughts about an afterlife.”
“Then I remembered something else you said in class: “The greatest sadness is to go through life without loving. Worse yet, to leave this world without ever telling those you loved . . . how much.”
"So I began with the hardest one: my Dad. It felt so good to get close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear that he loved me. It was easier with my Mom and little brother. They cried with me and shared things we had kept secret for years.”
“I wished I hadn’t waited so long. Then, one day I turned around and God was there. Apparently He does things in His own way! You were right; God found me even after I stopped looking for Him."
Roy was astounded. It seemed like God had sent everyone he’d tried to forget, back into his life to reeducate him.
Tommy agreed to return to Roy’s Theology class and tell his story. But he never made it. He had another appointment, one far more important. His life didn’t end by his death, it only changed.
Father, the surest way to find You is not to make You a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant comfort in time of need, but rather to open our hearts to You. Love will find a way . . . indifference will find an excuse. Amen.
