Wakeup Call

“You Lord, are the light that keeps me safe; I have no fears." ~ Psalm 271

Jackie was tired.  Exhaustion seems to be the burden of motherhood.

She once believed that after her children were no longer nursing at night that she’d be able to sleep.  But having four kids just takes you from one phase to another.  Fatigue changes but never quite goes away.  It didn’t help that her husband traveled frequently for his work. 

A toddler with a bad dream, a frightening thunderstorm, a neighbor’s barking dog.  Ear, tooth, tummy aches; the list never ends.

With an exhausted yawn, Jackie heaved herself onto the couch, searching for some solitude.   She lit a scented candle hoping to center herself.

Fire is almost irresistible; it’s difficult to keep from getting drawn into its hypnotic spell.   She softened her gaze and took a few long, deep breaths.  Rapt by the dance of the flame, Jackie quickly felt a week’s worth of stress leaving her body. 

She soaked in the delicate aroma of the beeswax’s honey scent.  It provided an almost mystic ambiance: soothing, clarifying, profoundly relaxing.  These rare moments were like heaven on earth she reminded herself.

She didn’t plan on falling asleep.  She just did! 

Blissful serenity was abruptly interrupted by an urgent voice.  “Jackie, wake up!  Wake up honey,” her father screamed.

She woke disoriented, confused.  Jackie barely remembered falling asleep.  Through the black, choking smoke, she could see a glowing firestorm.   The candle had burnt down and tipped forward, landing in a pile of newspapers and unfolded laundry.

“Get the kids and get out!” her Dad yelled.  “The house is on fire!”

Gathering her wits about her, and her four small children, they rushed out of the house just as the night’s silence was broken by the shrill echo of emergency vehicles.  They all ran across the road to the safety of their neighbor’s front porch.  Together they watched as their home burned.

Tears stung Jackie’s bloodshot eyes.  Not in desperation for the loss of property, or in gratitude for the safety of her family.  She sobbed for another reason altogether.  Why? 

Because her father had died 27 years ago when Jackie was only 9.  Daddy’s don’t just love their little girls every now and then.  It’s a love without end.

Dads, it doesn’t matter if you’re helpless to know what to do with a baby doll, if you feel totally out of place at your daughter’s tea-party table or if you can’t figure out your teen’s latest mood swing – your daughter needs you, probably more than you or she will ever know.  So take a deep breath, sip your imaginary tea . . . and don’t forget to push her chair in for her.

Holy Father, protect us until the evening comes, and the busy world is hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done.  Then, in Your mercy, grant us a safe lodging and a holy rest, and peace at last.  Amen.

For Them

“Don’t fear bad news.  Be confident due to your trust in the Lord.” ~ Psalm 112:7

Most of us have spent some time thinking about our own deaths.  We do it with a sense of dreadful curiosity, and then quickly push it aside with “Well, we’ve all got to go sometime.”

Unlike most people, I probably know the how, and maybe even the where and when of that event.  It’s intense reality that turns the world upside down for us, our families, friends and caregivers.

I have cancer that is incurable, aggressive, and offers little hope for survival.  Chemotherapy is a long shot.  I will leave a spouse, children, siblings and a life that I love and cherish.  I can’t imagine life without them.

There’s no bucket list.  There are no plans to sky or scuba dive, visit the Great Wall, or cruise the western Carribean.  We look to the small things we’ve known for decades that have become precious to us now: gazing at the stars, movie nights at home, decorating sugar cookies, daily quiet time with God.

From nausea and hair loss, to so-called "chemo-brain" and "metal mouth," the side effects of chemotherapy are unpleasant.  Muscles and bones constantly talk back at me.  Today self-pity matches the painful of chemo drugs assaulting my body.

Salty tears remind me of the ocean, so turquois, calm and vast.   In my mind’s eye, I see my husband and three children splashing in the warm water.   I’m beginning to feel the distance between us, it feels like a lifetime.   Sobbing now, I feel like an outsider, wondering how it will be without me.   

I just want to see my son play baseball, watch him wave at me standing on 2^nd base.  I just want to take my daughter shopping for makeup, applying powder to her porcelain skin.  I just want to read with my youngest, snuggled in bed together turning pages of a book.  I just want to grow old with my husband, continue to share our lives as we have for twenty-two years.   The darkness of depression crashes in on me now like a hammer.

I search for joy, but sometimes fear and sadness are overwhelming. 

My misery is suddenly interrupted by a little boy with a bald head, no older than 5.  He snuck up behind me, handed me an orange popsicle, gave my leg a big hug and said, “My mom says we have to keep smiling.”

I smile graciously and mouth “I will.”

My mood brightens.  I gather strength.  I re-commit.

I’ll do what I can every day to find that joy, and share it.  If I can’t find it I’ll make it.  That’s my pledge – to him, for them!

The bad days will come someday.  But that day is not today.  I am blessed.

Healing Lord, bless all those who face cancer’s uncertainty – those awaiting test results, undergoing treatment, and living with the fear of reoccurrence.  Please bring them comfort and strength, knowing that You hold them in Your precious grasp.  Amen

On Earth as it is in Heaven

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." ~ Matthew 5:8

"Have you ever seen God?" the small boy asked his sister.  Preoccupied with more important things, she replied briskly: "Of course not, silly.  God’s in heaven - nobody can see Him."

Time passed; his question lingered.  “Mom,” he probed.  “Has anybody ever seen God?”  "No, not really," she said gently. "God’s a spirit.  He lives in our hearts, but we can’t really see Him."

Partly satisfied, the youngster’s curiosity remained.

One day his grandpa invited the lad on a fishing trip.  They were having a great time together; it’d been an almost-perfect day.  As the sunset sipped what was left of a hot day to quench its thirst before nightfall, his angelic blue eyes looked at his grandfather with an intensity not to be ignored. "Grandpa,” he began.  “I wonder if you can answer a question that’s been bothering me for a long time.” 

“I’ll try,” suggested the old man upon whose weathered brow the history of 72 summers had been etched.  “Can anybody ever see God?" asked the young boy, content that his would be the final word.

The old man stopped fishing and turned his full attention to the exquisite beauty unfolding before him.  The sun, like a magnificent orange fireball was partially cloaked by hovering clouds.  Random hues of pinks, reds and even hints of purples and blues splashed across the horizon.  The sun, so large that he felt he could almost touch it, took its final bow and seemed to whisper "Farewell" to the world as it sank behind the epic landscape; almost as if it never wanted to leave.

Glimmers of light reflected off the still water.  The boy continued to watch his grandfather’s face as it reflected the deep peace and contentment of an ever-changing sunset.  Soon the sun disappeared, leaving behind a sea of dark, lonely clouds in a twilight sky.  The heavens began to litter the stars about; it was now their turn to shine.

Finally he spoke from a heart still fresh as the morning dew and with adoration for the Giver of every good on this blessed earth.  "Son," he said modestly.  "My God is everywhere.  It's getting so I can't see anything else!"

Friends, when we pray, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” we’re asking God to bring about His heavenly purpose on earth.  We’re making ourselves available and praying that He use us to do His will.

But just maybe, it’s also a recognition that God provides a hint of heaven here on earth, with beautiful sunsets, amazing wildlife and the evocative eyes of loving children.

Father, thank you “For the beauty of the earth, for the glory of the skies, for the love that from our birth, over and around us lies.  For the wonder of each hour, of the day and of the night, hill and valley tree and flower, sun and moon and stars of light.”   ~ FS Pierpont

It Takes a Thief

“You were saved by faith in God, who treats us better than we deserve." ~ Ephesians 2: 8

I really don’t belong here.  But let’s come back to that later.

I’d been mugging, cheating and stealing all my life.  Even as a kid, I'd run through the market, snatching fruit from the vendors.  While others studied in school, I was perfecting my skills at armed robbery.  I could steal from anyone, anytime, anyplace.

Waving an imposing weapon usually did the trick.  Threaten people with a beating and they'd give up without much of a fight.  I'll admit to cracking a few skulls in my day, but I don't think I actually killed anyone.  Then again, I never stayed around long enough to find out.

Life in my neighborhood was rough.  I was abused as a child; neglected as a child, despised for being a child.  If I hadn’t stolen, I wouldn’t have had anything.  I just lived to survive.

I didn’t know God then, but God knew me.  He saw everything I did and patiently waited for me to change, but that wasn’t going to happen.  Greed blinded me.  Eventually you “reap what you sow” and the day finally came when God withdrew His mercy from me.  

Arrested and convicted, and I was sentenced to die.  It’s a day I’ll never forget . . . the day Christ saved me.  Yep, I’m one of the thieves that was crucified with Jesus nearly 2000 years ago.  

From my own cross, I knew the pain He was going through.  But Jesus didn’t fight them; He didn’t resist.  I thought about my wasted life.  The sign above Jesus' head said that He was a King.  “Was He really who He said He was?” I wondered.  “How could He show so much love to such terrible sinners?  He must be the Savior!  

I had nothing to offer.  I couldn’t’ promise to walk the path of righteousness - my feet were nailed to the cross.  I couldn’t start doing good deeds because my hands were also nailed to the cross.  I couldn’t promise to live a cleaner life.  My life was just about over.

So I cried out, “Jesus, when you enter Your Kingdom, will you remember me?"

He opened his piercing, loving eyes.  Though parched lips, I still remember His labored words: "Truly, I say to you . . ." His voice cracked, then He added calmly. "Truly, this very day you will be with Me in Paradise."

I really don't belong here.  Paradise is the last place I expected to end up after all I've done.  My greatest moment in life was my last: the moment I put my faith in Christ.  That day on Calvary, the glory of the cross was demonstrated in my salvation.  What an amazing and clear-cut picture of grace!  Total forgiveness; pretty amazing!

Lord, we’ve all sinned and fall short of Your glory.  Thank You for giving us hope for eternal life, not because we deserve it, but because of Your unfathomable grace.  Amen

Happy - or Joyful?

“God uses His glorious riches to provide everything you need." ~ Philippians 4:19

Justin woke to the wailing sounds of wild dogs and roosters.  By this the third day of his mission trip, his whole body ached.  It seemed that no amount of stretching or moving would ease the pain from days of moving dirt and mixing concrete.  Still there was much work to be done.

Struggling to ease tired, swollen feet into cracked leather boots, he noted that this pair would soon need to be replaced.  If only he could exchange his aching back along with them.

After enjoying a glorious Honduran sunrise, a mug of Copan coffee, and his morning talk with God, Justin started to feel better.  His back pain had faded and his smile had returned.  Only then did he begin to reflect on his good fortune for living in the USA!

While most Americans are fortunate enough to have shoes to coordinate with almost every outfit, footwear for the children of the small village of Guatchilpilin are a bare necessity that’s seldom granted.  They walk miles on mud, dirt and rocks to go to school, get water or seek medical attention, putting themselves at risk for preventable diseases and infections.

In a country poor in sanitation, walking can actually be harmful to one’s health.  The ground is covered with feces; soiled with diseases, sharp rocks and other bits of trash.  They walk miles to find clean water, medical help, and food. 

But they are polite . . . and content . . . and joyful. 

Which made him think - it’s easy to see ourselves as privileged rather than as servants of God.  Happiness is based on material things or events – like a new pair of boots.  It’s a fleeting emotion that depends on things outside ourselves.

But these shoeless children radiate something deeper, joy that can only be present during the most challenging times; peace in the middle of a raging storm.  Thiers’ is an attitude of the heart.  They serve each other with no possible personal gain, embracing God's grace and feeling His love.

“So who’s luckier – them . . . or me?” he wondered.

When asked what we want from life, most of us answer "I just want to be happy."  There’s a common belief that happiness is something that can be achieved and held onto.  We think, "If I can just find the right job, or get married, or have children, or retire."  Those goals remain elusive.

While joy is related to happiness, it’s a much deeper experience.  Enduring joy comes as we persevere through trials, with God’s help, and our faith matures and is fortified.  True joy is eternal because it is based on our relationship with Christ, which is itself an everlasting source of joy.

Merciful Lord, instead of growing older every day, help me live as a joyful soul that remains forever young.  Remind me that true discipleship means putting purpose over position, service over safety, and Christ over convenience.   Amen