“Be patient and humble. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in Christ." ~ Ephesians 4:2-3
Shannon got it. On the biggest day of her life, Mandy, her
Bride-to-be friend, wanted things to go her way. Considering all the moolah involved,
she’d be peeved too if the flowers showed up fuchsia instead of blush.
Looking back, however, Shannon wished she would’ve had the
courage to just politely decline. Things
had gotten waaaay outta control.
Mandy paid for nothing for the bridesmaids but demanded that
they purchase specific shoes, jewelry, dress, hair, and makeup (~ $1,200). On top of that, she requested they stay an
entire weekend at the hotel she got married at ($1,350 plus taxes). Add the destination-bachelorette party and
two bridal shower gifts, and Shannon’s cost for the privilege of being in her
friend’s wedding exceeded $4,600.
But that wasn’t the worst of it. Shannon became Bridezilla, a term
widely used for an overbearing bride who’s me-first, diva attitude became
overbearing.
After having a full-blown meltdown, Mandy accused two of the eleven bridesmaids of not being "happy enough" that she was getting married. She booted them from her bridal party.
Mandy told the sole ginger-haired bridesmaid to dye her
locks brown. Why? Red was too "attention-grabbing"
and would "clash with the wedding colors."
They even signed a contract agreeing to “no fake tans, eye
lashes, or teeth whitening. No one’s
allowed to outshine the bride on her special day.”
Finally, after obsessing over the smallest minutiae (i.e.,
the groomsmen's buttonholes) and dragging the bridesmaids to 3 consecutive
weekends of dress shopping, Mandy said “Yes” to a pricey $10,500 dress. To offset its cost, she suggested the
bridesmaids ‘pitch in’ for the gown.
On the morning of the wedding, Shannon received a shockingly-detailed
itinerary of how to behave, with notes like "9:52am: Compliment the bride
on how beautiful she looks today."
Three months later, Mandy defaulted on the final payment on both
the food and venue bills. She couldn’t
afford them - divorce lawyers were costing her a fortune.
The wedding industry has long associated lavish weddings
with longer-lasting marriages. But
several research studies actually show just the opposite: an inverse
relationship between spending and marital success.
Extravagant weddings often distract from the hard work of spiritually
preparing for marriage. The event’s focus
should be on Christ - not on the flowers, the location or the party. Not surprisingly, our secular society has
twisted this around; it’s often as if the marriage is an after-thought; Christ
doesn’t even make it on the guest list sometimes.
Christian weddings are known for their simplicity. It’s easy to get lost in all the details and
forget the two most important reasons for Christian weddings – the solemn vows
to each other and the covenant relationship between the couple with Christ.
Lord bless this couple with love and hope as
they begin their journey down the road of life together. Keep alive forever the vows they pledge to
You and each other. Bless their dreams
and visions, and keep them always safe. Amen
