“True love never dies, never loses faith, and endures through every situation." ~ 1 Corinthians 13:7
She was 16. He was 18; working in Detroit pumping gas
when she and a girlfriend walked by. He
couldn't keep his eyes off of her – so much so that his shoes were soon filling
with gasoline while servicing a local customer.
And with that chance encounter, a promising romance might‘ve fizzled
like a play opening and closing on the same night.
Arlene was long gone by the time Richard rinsed off the putrid
petrol. But he vowed to keep his eyes
open just in case she came back.
A week later, Arlene strolled by
again (“deliberately” she later admitted), and he chased her down - asking her
out to the Dairy Queen. Over
chocolate-dipped cones, he asked “Do you dance? “Because if we’re gonna date, we'll be
dancing.” Soon the two were inseparable
- weekend regulars in Detroit’s warehouse district jazz clubs.
After breaking up for just a very brief period (Arlene
wanted to be married before she was 19 - Richard wanted to finish college first)
the couple got engaged. Years later,
they’d raise three sons while enjoying successful careers – he an engineer, she
a real estate agent.
Dancing together remained their passion - as spontaneous and
soul-quenching as laughter. The sight of
the dance floor always brought them a quiver of joy. When their souls began to dance, in all the
ways that could ever matter, true love rekindled.
After 30 years blissfully together, they moved to Honolulu. Alzheimer's had been a part of her family
history, so its possibility was all too real.
They overcame Richard's throat cancer and the death of their oldest son from pancreatic cancer, before the tragedy of her Alzheimer's
disease hit.
Still, Saturday evenings belonged to the veranda in the
Grand Lobby of Hawaii’s Kahala Hotel. When jazz pianist and singer David
Swanson began his set, they were the first (and sometimes the only) couple up
on the dance floor. The headliner always
played Ed Sheerhan's "Thinking Out Loud" and John Legend's "All
of Me," for the special couple. Kindness
is what Hawaii [and the Aloha spirit] is all about.
Even in his moments of
frustration, Richard still finds things that he's grateful for. “We’ve found a new normal after
Alzheimer's. No matter what changes, our
love … and dancing, remains. It’s always
been our heaven on Earth, moments of happiness that lifted us up and showed us
that we were more than a match for gravity.
Now it helps to heal and reminds me of our old life together.”
“Almighty Father, I’m losing my beloved Arlene to this devastating disease. It makes us both sad. Help me recognize the joy in the present moment with her each day; to overcome the sadness that sometimes prevails, and to know that You are ever present with us on our journey. Amen” ~ Richard
