Adios to Goodbyes

 “How we suffer on earth is nothing compared to the glory He will give us later." ~ Romans 8:18

From experience, Jesse knew the hardest part of foster parenting was letting go. Tomorrow would bring double the pain.

Two small children had been living with them for almost seven months - protected, empowered, and showered with love. She and her husband had worked so hard teaching them how to trust and soon they will leave forever for an adopting family.

As much as they had talked with the kids about the coming transition, they remained confused and scared. All they wanted to know was why they couldn’t stay with Jesse anymore.

Sobbing, Jesse called her mother. “Sometimes I wonder if is really worth following Jesus’ example and investing until the so much. Tonight, I just want to withdraw and protect my heart. I can’t do this; I can’t say goodbye to them.”

Her mother listened patiently; the kind of humbleness that waited for a chance to reach in and give the perfect nurture. Her quiet heart always found a way to be helpful without interfering.

“Our lives are full of transitions and seasons of change,” she began. “I rarely say ‘Goodbye’, even with someone I may not see for months, or ever. Goodbyes mark endings, not beginnings. They come with sadness not joy.”

“Did you know that the first known use of the word “goodbye” was recorded centuries ago as a common letter closing as “Godbwye” a contraction for “God be with ye.” Through the years ‘good’ was substituted for ‘God’ due to the influences of good day or good evening.

“In 1880, Pastor Jeremiah Rankin set out to write a closing hymn for his worship service. Hoping to spark his imagination, he began looking at words such as "farewell" and "goodbye.” The definition that he found for "goodbye" included the words "God be with you." Thus, the hymn “God Be With You Till We Meet Again” was born:”

“God be with you till we meet again; loving counsels guide, uphold you, may the shepherd’s care enfold you; God be with you till we meet again.”

“Honey, no goodbye is final for us. When kids leave home, friends get married, people move, or even when loved ones die, as Christians, that separation isn’t the end of our road. We know we’ll all be together in heaven, restored to the perfect togetherness God always intended for us.”

“I try to hold onto the hope that God gave us. It’s natural to feel the sting of separating and the grief that goodbyes bring. But don’t be too sad. Our heartaches pale in comparison to what awaits us in God’s Kingdom.”

After Jesse thanked her Mom for her kindness and sage advice, she went to her heavenly Father in Prayer:

Almighty Father, thank You for always being there in my life and always looking out for me. You always make me feel special. I know these are things that parents are supposed to do for their children, but no One does it any better than You. Amen

Through the Years

 “Honor God by your good deeds and you will understand Him even better.” ~ Colossians 1:10

While on my morning walk last week, I watched from a distance as a young man helped an elderly gentleman into his wheelchair at our local park. Whatever their relationship, I created a backstory in my mind picturing a bond between a father and son develop through the years.

I envisioned the younger man as a newborn baby. His proud daddy snuggled the boy in his arms as they walked that park trail twenty years earlier. The infant’s smiling eyes and dimpled cheeks revealed sheer delight in the effortless ride. Dad’s eyes seemed to rekindle his own best kid self.

I imagined the two of them 12 months later, the father slowly walking along beside his boy on that same path as the toddler began to take his first few steps. In my mind’s eye, I saw the little boy holding onto his father’s finger for balance and dreaming futuristic ideas for his new mobility.

Years later the boy’s stride and pace were increasing, becoming more in-sync with his father’s footsteps. But eventually, the little boy grew tired. His initial enthusiasm dimmed, and his steps slowed. Dad relaxed his pace to remain in step with his son’s, encouraging him as a father should.

They planned stops along the way and learning tasks to accomplish. Several times as they walked along, the son announced, “Daddy, I love you!” It reminded Dad that nothing they did that day was more important than the time they shared together.

Now my story turned 180 degrees. The little boy grew up, the father grew old. Adult realities replaced childhood images. God’s hand provided the catalyst for reciprocity; a chance to honor the father who raised him.

He gently transferred his Dad from the car into his wheelchair. Heading down the old park trail, their laughter and friendship said it all. Both had grown kinder, wiser, more authentic. Life was good; their strong, loving bond clearly evident.

Fatherhood isn’t about the last page, but every word in between. It signals emotions of love and protection, of cherishing the moments shared by one another.

Aging parents are a gift from Almighty God. Not every child has the privilege of growing old with one or both parents. Some watch disease or an accident snatch them away before experiencing the pleasure of an adult relationship with them.

It’s a blessing to support those who supported us over the years. To serve and honor our parents is to serve and honor Jesus. In walking with Him, I have a security that I wouldn’t have on my own, one that spans from this life into eternity.

Heavenly, thank You for the infinite ways You used my parent to shape my life. Now the roles are reversed. I have the privilege to help and serve, and remind my precious parent of Your tender, shepherding care. Give me patience, wisdom and an understanding heart. Amen

His Grandeur

 “The heavens proclaim the glory of God. Nature displays His handiwork." ~ Psalm 19:1

At seventeen, Brittney (Brit) was dying, and she couldn’t do anything about it. Though her friends didn’t realize it, they were watching her die. They saw her floating face down in the lake, but assumed she was just clowning around.

But she wasn’t messing around. She simply couldn’t move. Not her arms. Not her legs. Nothing. She had yet to comprehend that her life had already changed forever.

X-rays would confirm a fracture of the C5 vertebra and acute spinal cord damage. Total paralysis of the upper and lower body. In nanoseconds, she went from being an adventurous, outgoing, bold student-athlete to worrying about her future and grieving the loss.

Brit spent six weeks in the hospital. She lost her mobility, muscle tone and nearly all memories of the previous 12 months. Her entire junior year… eviscerated. But during the slow rehab process, she decided that she was ‘all-in,’ and followed God’s lead despite the tragedy. Hope emerged. Optimism flourished. Faith amplified.

She completed her senior year on schedule and graduated from college while living at home adjusting to her new reality. After considering a career in medicine, Brittney pivoted to law, and at age 27, earned her law degree from SMU.

“Sure, people are paralyzed, deafened, and blinded,” she said. “It doesn’t mean God’s creation lacks purpose and value. We still can choose to experience God’s magnificence.”

“I love the intricate details of a flower. It’s delicate petals, vibrant colors, and sweet fragrance all point to God’s artistry. His power speaks to me in towering mountain heights, their rugged terrain and snow-capped peaks.”

“The magnificence of a sunrise - its fiery hues and fading light remind me of the beauty of His creation. An endless blue ocean, its thundering waves and diverse marine life, all testify to the immensity of God's creation.”

“I also love to close my eyes and breathe in nature’s noises, listening to a river run. Any time I’m near water, it rejuvenates my spirit. I feel alive and humbled. Birds are usually close by – blue jays, sparrows, and hawks. I feel them as auditory smiles and expressions of pure bliss.”

Witnessing the totality of God’s creation can invite us into a deeper appreciation for God and His handiwork. Her broken neck was a freak accident that forced her to learn things she never would’ve understood as an able-bodied person. Her message is one of perseverance and hope.

“My faith has been strengthened and purified by this whole ordeal,” she added. “My greatest joy is the deep gratitude I’ve experienced, even during some of my darkest days. Even though I sit in a metal wheelchair each day, remain hopeful. Good is amazing!”

Almighty and Majestic Father, through life’s twists and turn, up and downs, teach me to live out of a place of joy and gratitude, not entitlement. May I be content with what I have, no matter the season or challenge. To have You is to have enough. Amen

Hurry Up and Slow Down

 “Slow down. Take a deep breath. What's the hurry?" ~ Jeremiah 2:25

Claire returned from her week-long mission trip to Honduras nearly two months ago. There she’d witnessed life at a pace Americans thought only existed a century ago. Where life was sacred... slower... savored.

It wasn’t perfect but purposeful. There were many challenges and far fewer indulgences. Yet, it was fascinating to experience life sans electricity, clean water, and smartphones.

Asked to share her thoughts with her church family, she spoke these words:

“Dear friends, 77.3 years isn’t much time.

I pack my days full of activities. We’re urged to join as many school clubs and sports as possible. At home, an endless list of things that need to be maintained, fixed or upgraded awaits. Even at work we’re expected to continually take on added responsibilities.

We approach life as if there’s nothing wrong with this “system.” As if the natural progression of humanity is to become the most efficient life form on earth.

Yet, why are so many people unhappy? Why are so many on medication to control anxiety and depression? Isn’t this unmistakable evidence that our system is broken?

There’s just no rest; no sense of completion.

We walk around with a nagging sense that there’s something we forgot to do. Or we feel guilty when we take time to do nothing, chill with friends, or just be. And it’s eating away at us from the inside.

Life doesn’t have to be so crazy. It’s time we embrace the alternative: slowing down.

Honduras opened my eyes. I saw there was a direct correlation between life’s exhausting pace and an obsession with self. Centering our lives on effectiveness as the primary goal leaves little time for other people or relationships.

Jesus was, of course, the perfect example. His life on earth was the embodiment of sacrifice – of giving Himself for others. His agenda wasn’t on getting things done. And as His follower, I want to be more like that too.

I want to put relationships first. Hearts before agendas. Lives ahead of schedules. He put us here to Love Him, to Love others, and to spread JOY every day.

When our calendars are scribbled in the margins because they’re way too full, we have no way to empty ourselves out in sacrifice. It’s not the way God meant us to be.

My mind frequently drifts back to my time in Honduras. What I remember most is how I felt. I felt relaxed… contemplative… closer to God. More at peace with myself and those put purposely around me. A slower-paced life isn’t just a great idea, or chic, or an illusion. It’s essential if we want to have time to be the body of Christ. Thank you!”

“Father God, You didn’t put us here to rush about doing millions of needless things, but to Love. To Love You, to Love everyone as ourselves, and to find Joy in every single day on earth. Help me to find Your pace. Amen” ~ Claire

Gratitude - Pass It On

 “Praise the Lord, O my soul. And forget none of His acts of kindness." ~ Psalm 103:2

Procrastination is one of the main barriers to PhD productivity. But the 27-year-old remained totally focused until she began experiencing vision issues and, later, dizziness and numbness on her left side. Because her father had a history of migraines, she thought hers might have a genetic origin.

A routine MRI revealed a type of brain tumor known as a glioma. This tumor often occurs near areas of the brain that control body movement, language, or vision. After a 9-hour brain surgery to remove the tumor, her body began to slowly recover. Her mental health, however, had taken a hit and she felt stuck in despair.

Her treatment plan required both chemotherapy and radiation at the Univ. of Michigan Brain Tumor Clinic. During visits, Christina noticed how much of the talk around facing cancer is about “fighting.”

She found that metaphor exhausting. She “didn’t want to spend over a year at war with her own body.” She knew exactly what she needed – the gratitude tools she studied as part of doctoral psychology studies but hadn’t yet put into practice.

“It’s common for us not to practice these skills until we need to, ” Christina later explained. She decided to put her research to the test to bolster her resilience and healing. 

Christina began a digital gratitude journal. Every morning, she began her day writing three things she was thankful for and why. Specificity is a critical element of the gratitude practice.

Her 500-page journal is packed with words of appreciation for particular people, her doctors, or to her body for being strong during her year-long recovery process. She experienced firsthand that no matter how difficult the struggle, practicing gratefulness can help people resist depression and “rewire our brains to help build resilience.”

Christina Costa, PhD, is now uniquely qualified to speak on the topics of gratitude and brain cancer. As an assistant professor of psychology at Wayne State University, her courses focus on human mental strength and toughness.

Her research along with many scientific studies suggest that gratitude has mental, emotional, and physical benefits that can positively affect those managing a difficult diagnosis. She teaches students the importance of positivity and gives them practical tools to use.

Costa’s powerful story reminds us that practicing gratitude isn’t just something believers do out of duty. Although it’s true that God deserves our gratitude, it’s also good for our own well-being.

When we lift our hearts up to say, “Praise You, Lord” (Psalm 103:2 above), we’re reminded of a God who is not only a promise maker, but also a promise keeper. He promises to work all things together for our good. There is no greater hope than one who has conquered death.

Father, I kneel before You, confessing that my heart is too often filled with complaints instead of gratitude. Please forgive me. Help me see Your hand at work in my life and change my outlook into one of joyful satisfaction with all circumstances. Amen

No Limits

 “Those who believe in Him should not perish but have eternal life." ~ John 3:16

As a younger person, I don’t ever remember consciously thinking about dying. Maybe it was too daunting, or uncomfortable, or I was just too busy. But I’m older now. Perhaps not dramatically wiser, but certainly more contemplative.

Sometimes before the sun rises when I can’t sleep, I get up, fire up the Keurig, and sit alone in the dim light of the family room. Instead of thinking about the days’ activities ahead, my mind replays random scenes from earlier times.

It’s like I popped in a DVD and begin to see my autobiography’s different seasons. I always tried my best to provide for my family - financially, emotionally and spiritually. It’s been an idyllic life, one that often makes me feel unworthy.

One thing’s for certain, though. I’m one day closer to Home. At least I pray that I am and that’s He’s helping me prepare for the eventuality. Not to be overly dramatic or morbid, but my clock is ticking. I am truly blessed and consider it a privilege to be living in overtime.

Contemplating death in a conscious way doesn’t freak me out. Knowing that our human adventure is limited and that at some future moment our physical body will die, is sobering and liberating. It forces reality, humility and vulnerability.

You’re free to stop chasing after all the stuff that doesn’t matter, free to stop living for others’ approval, are free to release grudges and petty differences.

When your goals shift toward a more eternal perspective and are clear about God’s priorities for your life, life becomes more about today, less about tomorrow. More about people, less about belongings. More about God’s priorities, less about desires and plans. More about the eternal, less about the temporal.

Time’s running out for us all. We don’t get a second shot today. We’re still here for a God’s purpose.

So, let’s all imagine today as if it was our final day on Earth. Living as if every moment were our last entails cherishing the present, expressing gratitude for its preciousness, and avoiding excessive preoccupation with the past or future.

How will you make relationships a greater priority? Who do you need to get with for an unhurried lunch? Is there someone that needs to be forgiven?

Don’t miss the chance to sit down with your wife, or child and let them know how you feel about them. Don’t miss the chance to sit down with your aging parents and spend time enjoying and learning from them. Be available for some longer and deeper conversations with people you appreciate and admire.

In short, don’t let your good intentions turn to painful regrets.

Heavenly Father, help me become a living example that points to You. My dreams are too small, my desires are too selfish, my actions are too sinful for me to focus on what’s best in Your eyes. I know I can’t do life without You. Amen