“Teach your children well . . . and know they love you!"
~ Graham Nash
Karin didn’t bother going in for a
kiss. She just calmly said goodnight at her
son’s door and closed it, wondering where she’d screwed up.
Years ago, bedtime seemed almost magical – snuggling up with
her tiny tot, exploring, fantasizing or just being silly. Hunter’s favorite bedtime stories were
actually the ones she made up. It wasn’t
easy creating a new story at the end of a long day, but thankfully young minds
love repetition. Minor changes to
familiar stories kept him amused.
Parenthood was the most challenging mission she’d ever faced. It didn't help that there were no single-mom
role models in her life (he bolted when Hunter was still learning to
walk). But they’d survived the toddler
times.
She learned how to throw a decent pass, how to pitch a tent,
and how to build an “epic” pinewood racer.
She resisted the urge to scream when he brought home slimy pets. She dumped Cheerios in the toilet to help
perfect his aim. Wrestling on the bed,
floor and grass always brought fresh bruises.
That was nothing compared to the “terrible teens.” A teenage boy’s world is dynamic and volatile. Surging hormones can dim the spark of even the
most confident moms. She learned to
tolerate and even laugh at an occasional belch, fart, or other icky stuff. But talking about girls, sex, and male “naughty
parts” went well beyond her expertise!
Now this!
When she’d opened the door, his hand went to the top of the
laptop screen with supersonic speed making it impossible to know what was on
the screen. To an inexperienced
observant it wouldn’t have raised any suspicion.
Karin however, knew this move all too well! She had two brothers and grew up around guys;
she knew when they were trying to hide something or when they’d been
busted. As she walked down the hallway
to compose herself, she was pretty damn sure he’d been watching porn.
What to do? She
didn’t want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was. Hunter needed to know that his sexual curiosity
was not innately bad, but rather something that he should express in other
ways. “Sleep on it,” she reasoned.
While he was at school the next day, Karin “borrowed” Hunter’s
laptop to scan his browsing history. She
discovered the “shock” of her life!
Instead of digitally-enhanced images of semi-naked girls,
she learned that her 14 year old son was taking a free online Spanish class. He’d confess later that there was a new kid
at school who only spoke Spanish. He
wanted to talk to him and make him feel welcome.
Lord, grant me the patience to be a good
example for my teen during times when they test every part of me. Give me strength to both stand firm when needed
and let go when the time’s right. Let me
offer the right advice and set the right rules to help them be the person You
desire. Amen
