“A kind answer sooths angry feelings." ~ Proverbs
15:1
It started like most others, a mild
disagreement over Jack’s long hours.
There was no argument about his weekly schedule, typically 60 to
65 hours per week. But this one quickly
escalated; Ginny found herself spinning out of control.
She started screaming at the top of her lungs, slamming
doors - basically throwing a tantrum like a child. Probably long overdue from years of neglect,
something finally snapped.
Jack had faced tremendous personal stress lately – pressure
at work, a recent death in the family, an underwater mortgage, and now
this. His face reddened; he felt like
lava had been emptied into his bloodstream.
When His parents fought, Joel left the room, closed the door
and turned his music up load. Luckily
today was a school day. He grabbed a
light coat and bolted for the front door.
He hated when they said mean things to each other. It hurt too much to listen to them.
Back in the kitchen, tempers flared. Voices grew louder. Name calling began. Frustrations catapulted to anger, skipping
all the levels between slight irritation and boiling rage. I was like one of those Formula I cars that raced
from zero to about two hundred in seconds.
Ginny started crying hysterically. Jack’s overheated brain wasn’t falling for
the tears though. So she retreated to
the closet and came out with a suitcase.
Jack knew he’d gone too far and just wanted to end the
fight. But his pride wouldn’t allow it. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he counted
to ten and suggested that they needed to work this out.
Still fueled by raw emotion, Ginny insisted she’d married a monster
and was going home to her mother’s.
Jack offered an apology, more to end the dispute than
anything. Ginny knew this was Jack’s
manipulative way of postponing the argument until later. She continued packing.
That’s when Jack grabbed her suitcase, opened it and placed
their wedding album in it. He told her
that if they couldn’t sit down and find a way to discuss it, they didn’t stand
a chance at staying together. Then he slammed
the door and left for work.
Tonight as Jack headed home from a fruitless day at the
office hoping to make things right with Ginny, his son Joel called. “Mom’s been rushed to the hospital. She collapsed in the kitchen for no apparent
reason. I’m at the hospital now,
praying.”
We often stay in arguments much longer than we really want
to because we're afraid to lose face by backing down. It's important to remember that choosing the
relationship over the current argument could be the best thing that you can do
in the situation. There's nothing about
that to lose face over!
Lord, when we disagree, let us do so in a
spirit of charity rather than anger. Remind
us of the mercy that You’ve shown and motivate us to share that which we’ve
been given. Let the hope which lives
within us melt our frozen hearts. Amen
