No If's, But's or Maybe's

 “Admit your wrongdoing to one another before your Father will forgive you." ~ James 5-16

Forty years ago, 12-year-old Mary Kellerman woke up feeling sick.  Her parents gave her one Extra-Strength Tylenol and sent her back to bed.  Hours later, she died on the bathroom floor.

Within days, Mary and six others would die in the Chicago area from taking Tylenol pills that’d been laced with cyanide.  Publicity about the poisoned capsules instantly caused a nationwide panic. 

Without a suspect to condemn (no one was ever caught), public outrage could’ve fallen squarely on Tylenol — the nation’s leading painkiller, with a market share more than the next top 4 painkillers combined.  Despite what seemed like a death sentence for the brand, Johnson & Johnson acted decisively as the terror unfolded.

J&J’s CEO promptly acknowledged the problem.  He accepted responsibility.  He expressed grave concern.  And he put his money where his mouth was.

Not only did the company offer to exchange all (31 million) Tylenol tablets already purchased, they quickly introduced a new version of the pill - a gelatin-coated capsule making it much harder to alter than the original tablets.  They delivered the product in tamper-resistant packaging to make certain the problem would never be repeated.

Cynics contend that this was nothing more than a marketing stroke of genius.  But there are some important takeaways about the essence of an effective apology.

Apologizing starts with admitting you’re wrong.  “I’m sorry” carries a lot of weight but only when it’s genuine.  Saying it requires vulnerability to confess responsibility for the hurt that’s been inflicted and genuine regret for one’s role to everyone affected.

But an apology is only valid it you take accountability for fixing it.  J&J did not tamper with the Tylenol or administer the cyanide that killed 7 people.  Yet they did not try and avoid responsibility for what happened.  The company took aggressive action by introducing a safer, better, more trustworthy product.

A good apology is first and foremost about the victim.  Using words like ‘if, but or maybe’ negates the confession, shifts the blame, and attempts to minimize guilt.  Similarly, there are those who are experts at identifying their mistake, and apologize easily as if they knew exactly what they were doing and were prepared to apologize if they got caught. 

A written plan detailing the changes you plan to make shows that you take the matter seriously and are willing to spend substantial time planning how to change.  Asking forgiveness signals that you’ve completed the apology.  Then give it time ... especially if the hurt is deep.

Making an apology is an art.  Christ offers the greatest example of forgiveness.  However, He doesn’t forgive unconditionally.  If we don’t mend our ways, we’re not reconciled to Him and do not have His forgiveness.

Father God, open my eyes to how I’ve hurt others.  Give me the desire and the grace to seek genuine forgiveness from You and from the one I’ve offended.  Help me repair the damage I caused as quickly as possible.  Amen

The "Springtime of Our Lives"

 “In Christ, your old life is gone and a new life has begun." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

To say Nadia hated winter was an understatement.  The heater under her desk and blanket over the back of her home office chair proved it!

So today, she smiled when she saw the first flower of Spring - a lone daffodil popping its head through the ground on a cool, April morning walk.  New life sprouting always brought hope and happiness that drew Nadia out of her wintertime doldrums.

Daffodils represent friendship.  These golden stars trumpet the rising greens; a silent choir which predicts a kind of love story between the sun and its flowers.

Nadia wasn’t sure what’d made the lone daffodil finally decide to end its long sleep.  Perhaps it had noticed that the adjacent dirt was no longer frozen.  Maybe it heard singing birds announce Spring’s arrival.  Tree roots had possibly whispered that it was now safe to come out as its own limbs were already budding.

Whatever the reason, it was a joy to see the little guy calling out to its fellow flowers to join in the revival of life once again.

All God’s creation awakens in springtime; warming up softly in ways that bring optimism to hearts and souls. 

Bird songs reach their peak during spring; the perfect time to enjoy this treat for the ears.  As migrant birds return throughout the season, songs grow in volume and diversity.

Hibernating animals wake from their winter nap.  Spring means food is back in ample supply and it’s time to eat.

There’s nothing quite like the excitement of seeing your first bumblebee or butterfly of the year. They’re one of the feel-good sights that give us a little taste of the summer to come.

We too are a part of that creation, but unlike the flowers in the field we can bloom even when the world around us is cold, dark, and harsh.  We have the ability to share our beauty in the face of ugliness, our joy in the face of fear, and our love in the face of hate.  We’re capable of making every day feel like the first day of Spring.

But only God can take away the cold and dark of sin, refill us with His sweet Holy Spirit, and make us new again.   Only He can bring back the springtime, renewing our hearts to the warm and tender state they were when we first accepted Him.

As daylight increases, rains fall, and flowers grow again, may your heart for God – Our Creator and Sustainer – flourish like never before.  Breathe deeply and enjoy the invigorating feeling the spring air brings and allow God to align your heart to the freshness He has in store for you.

God of all creation, help me truly see this Spring for what it is: a blessing for how beautiful change can truly be.  As flowers bloom and birdsongs fill the heavens again, renew in me the strength to move forward in my faith journey with You.  Amen

Edith

 Jesus said, “There are many rooms in My Father’s house.  I will make a place for you.” ~ John 14:2

Dr. Andrew Block rocked back in the timeworn leather chair that’d become his throne … and cocoon.  His emotions waxed and waned; recalling earlier days – crazy, anxious times building a career and raising a family.  

The hectic life of toddlers had given way to the social chaos of teenagers.  Life had slowed to a more mellow pace.  As head of the Oncology Department, Jack didn't mind white hair or adding a few notches to his belt either.

Life had been good until a just few weeks ago.

“I’m so sorry to have to tell you this.”  Andrew had delivered that same line a thousand times.  But it never sounded so chilling as when he’d heard the diagnosis of his own pancreatic cancer from a colleague.  The words - Terminal, Hospice and Comfort Care - splintered inside him.

It wasn’t dying that scared Andrew.  His affairs were in order, his wife and children were well provided for.  He grieved the loss of life he’d miss; seeing his daughter grow to be a mother and his son to be a Dad.  Not ready to be called Home by God, he constantly asked “Why me?”  

Intellectually, he knew God worked His own way in His own time for His own purpose.  But emotionally, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to beloved family who’d graced his life on earth and go to Him, yet.

He had a more pressing duty today however. 

Edith, a wonderful Christian patient he’d known for years, waited in the reception area for test results.  Glumly, Andrew entered the waiting room and spotted the older woman, a Bible perched conspicuously on her lap, sharing its Wisdom with the young mother sitting beside her.

He motioned for her to follow him to his office.  She eyed the doctor quizzically before asking, “What wrong Dr. Block, why so sad?  Are you still reading your Bible?  Are you praying faithfully?”

He spoke in a voice of uncommon warmth.  “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this Edith,” he said, pausing before the gut punch.  “Your lab results came back.  The tumor is cancerous.  I’m afraid its terminal.”

Unfazed, Edith replied, “Oh, you silly man!  Do you think God makes mistakes?  You just told me that I’m going to see my precious Lord, my husband, and my friends.  I’m going to celebrate Easter forever, and yet you’re struggling to give me my ticket!”

“What a magnificent woman!” Andrew thought.  “So genuine; called by her Creator to nurture others by her faith; the embodiment of His protective love.”

Her words were the "off switch" for his internal storm.  Maybe it was time for him to read John 14 again and get ready.

Dear ones; I’m so happy and so bright!  There’s perfect joy and beauty in His everlasting light.  All the pain and grief is gone; every restless tossing passed.  I’m now at peace forever, safely home in God’s Kingdom.  ~ Dr. Andrew Block

Game Changer

 “When He calls on me, I will answer Him." ~ Psalm 91:15

The elderly man reclined in a chair, squeezing a firm sponge nonchalantly.  A nurse prepared to draw one final blood donation from his arm.  As James had done countless times before, he turned his head away from the needle as it entered his arm; “he still can’t stand the pain."

With eyes closed he let the memories flood him like an early summer breeze.  All the commotion disappeared in an instant.  His thoughts took him back to where it all began, nearly 70 years ago.

He’d been just 14 when he suffered a chest injury so severe that a lung had to be removed.  The near-death experience required transfused blood from 13 strangers to save his life.  During his recovery, James vowed to donate as soon as he reached his 18^th birthday to “repay the favor.”

Little did he know that within his veins flowed the answer to a deadly problem among infants called Rhesus disease.  This disease caused a pregnant mother's blood to attack her unborn baby's blood cells.  In the worst cases, it resulted in blindness, brain damage, or even death for the infants.

After donating his first pint in 1967, researchers discovered a rare anomaly in James’ blood.  It contained unique, disease-fighting antibodies used to develop an injection called Anti-D, which helps fight against Rhesus disease.

His donation became a game changer!

Dubbed the “Man With A Golden Arm,” James donated nearly every week for 60 years, a deed whose more than 1,173 ‘gifts’ remain unmatched.  According to the Australian Red Cross, he’s helped saved the lives of more than 2.4 million Australian babies, including his own grandson whose life was spared by the Anti-D vaccine.  Prior to 1967, literally thousands of babies in Australia alone died each year from Rhesus. (Australia was one of the first countries to discover a blood donor with this antibody).

Doctors aren't exactly sure why he had this rare blood type, but think it might have originated from the transfusions he received after his chest surgery.  Less than 50 Australians are known to have the needed antibodies.

“We’re all done, Mr. Harrison,” waking James from his trek down memory lane.  “And thank you again for your generosity over these past 51 years.”

A grin spread across his face.  “It’s probably my only talent,” he said.  “I just hope that my record continues to be broken!”

Thus, the occasion marked the end of a monumental chapter.  He didn’t hesitate to answer God’s call.  Big deeds don’t always come with fame, but they always come with results.

Don’t you wonder how many times we’ve missed the blessing of being called by God because we were too consumed by what was going on in our own lives and failed to obey His direction?

Almighty Father, thank You for being available when we call on you in our time of need. In whatever way You lead us, may our hearts always be available, faithful, and willing to say “YES” to Your call.  Amen

Hair of the Dog

“Don’t look back, lengthen your stride, and press toward the goal." ~ Philippians 3:13-14

Erik hadn’t slept well in weeks.  He awoke nearly two hours earlier than normal; unable to fall back to sleep.  Once awake, he couldn’t quite get his mind to quiet down.  It felt like his eyes leaking open cued his brain into overdrive.  He couldn’t seem to find a way to break the cycle.

He’d never heard of anyone dying from insomnia, but feeling exhausted, stressed, snappy, and permanently on the verge of collapse was unhealthy enough.  His eyes fixated on the glowing alarm clock numbers taunting him until he finally surrendered and rose from bed.

Tiptoeing into the family room, he switched on the TV.  A 24-hour news program retched its usual venom of hatred, rancor, prejudice, and division.  Erik turned it off and put on some music instead.  Then he picked up a book and read until his eyelids grew heavy.  Closing his eyes and placing the book on his chest, he dozed mercifully, if only for a few moments until dawn’s light.

Suddenly, Erik felt something stirring him from slumberland.  Its warm breath caressed his face with the sedative qualities of a lullaby.  His eyes slowly opened to a long, sleek face covered in caramel and cream-colored fur.  Luxurious, brown eyes stared directly into his; making herself at home in Erik’s heart. 

Waking up suddenly can be as a great epiphany, a eureka moment, when the friendly ghosts of the soul have set you upon a new path. 

A smile crept onto Erik’ face.  This little gal had been his companion in quiet moments and the hilarity that dogs bring.

“Hello Bella,” he said warmly.  The pooch covered Erik’s face in kisses while her curly tail wagged, cheerily against the couch.  "Oh," she seemed to say, "are you feeling overwhelmed Dad?" in a low rumble as happy as a kid in a chocolate factory.  "Kisses ... why ... thank you!"

Erik patted her head, scratched her belly, and laughed as Bella showered him with affection.  He soaked it all in and thought to himself: “If only we humans could love each other as purely and unconditionally as our dogs love us, what a wonderful world this would be.”

With a stretch and a yawn Bella snuggled right into him and fell fast asleep. Erik felt a little sparkle of joy before falling asleep too; body and brain relaxed, safe, and content to have solved enough of its problems to earn sleep.

Dogs are blessings from God.  We should spend our days creating happiness and making this world a better place.   We should see everyone no matter how they look or what they believe as our brothers and sisters.  We should love ourselves and everyone else as God loves us.  And we should say each day, “Thank you dear God for dogs.”

Lord God, You gave us furry companions to bring out the best examples of friendship and love.  Let us never ignore the lessons they teach to offer kindness joyfully and unconditionally.  Amen

Forged in Fire

 “Blessed are those who persevere under fire." ~ James 1:12

The flames that reduced their home to ashes also burned that memory into young Jared’s mind forever.  He’d never forget shaking on that warm summer evening, standing beside his Mom, Dad, siblings and Frankie (their pet collie).  His senses confirmed what he was still unable to believe.  The house, their home, gone!  No object had escaped its wrath.

Last night it was an inferno; acrid smoke, multi-colored flames, and oppressive heat - even from a hundred yards away.  The family had made it out by the grace of God, their fire alarms having blared as they were supposed to.  Firefighters could only watch it burn and try their best to protect the houses next door.

The sullied remains were so much more than a torched house.  Once so alive, so vibrant, had been a place of love and security, a place with memories and warmth.  Now the unobstructed wind whistled through twisted plastic and metal that had been furniture and electronics.  Amid those ruins lay history, secrets, all their personal possessions.

Gone were Dad’s tools, Mom’s recipes, and prized photographs.  His sister kicked at a pile of rubbish, hoping to find even one of her cherished Harry Potter books.  Little Andrew searched pointlessly for a favorite toy, or maybe even his collection of Pokémon trading cards.

The fragments that had been his sanctuary, his comfort in every storm, lay sooty at his feet.  Jared picked up some chars of what’d once been their residence, not sure what he'd been expecting to feel by touching what was left.  Perhaps some vibrancy of his youth.

There was nothing left but the plot of land to rebuild from.  Dark ash would soon be part of a new life enriching the soil below, allowing fresh vegetation to thrive.  Now that the flames were gone, it will soon be time to move on, to let go of the place where they had lived and loved.

God in His love and goodness, reasoned Jared, had spared them from losing the one treasure each of them still had: their lives.  Everything essential had escaped - their hearts, souls and bodies were unscathed.  That’s all they needed to live in love and joy again.

They were still a family; still all together.  They could still hold each other, laugh, and share the love and pleasure at being alive.  

Soon, thanks to the goodness of their community and extended family, his family had been able to replace what material things they’d lost and move into another home.  Yet Jared would never again consider the things of this world as important as the love they shared from their hearts and the joy they spread from their souls.

Lord God, our comfort and strength in times of disaster, crisis, or chaos, surround us with Your grace and peace through storms, fires or floods.  By your Spirit, lift up those who have fallen, sustain those who work to rebuild, and fill us with the hope of Your new creation.  Amen

Bridezilla

 “Be patient and humble.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in Christ." ~ Ephesians 4:2-3

Shannon got it.  On the biggest day of her life, Mandy, her Bride-to-be friend, wanted things to go her way.  Considering all the moolah involved, she’d be peeved too if the flowers showed up fuchsia instead of blush.  

Looking back, however, Shannon wished she would’ve had the courage to just politely decline.  Things had gotten waaaay outta control.

Mandy paid for nothing for the bridesmaids but demanded that they purchase specific shoes, jewelry, dress, hair, and makeup (~ $1,200).  On top of that, she requested they stay an entire weekend at the hotel she got married at ($1,350 plus taxes).  Add the destination-bachelorette party and two bridal shower gifts, and Shannon’s cost for the privilege of being in her friend’s wedding exceeded $4,600.

But that wasn’t the worst of it.  Shannon became Bridezilla, a term widely used for an overbearing bride who’s me-first, diva attitude became overbearing.

After having a full-blown meltdown, Mandy accused two of the eleven bridesmaids of not being "happy enough" that she was getting married.  She booted them from her bridal party.

Mandy told the sole ginger-haired bridesmaid to dye her locks brown.  Why?  Red was too "attention-grabbing" and would "clash with the wedding colors."

They even signed a contract agreeing to “no fake tans, eye lashes, or teeth whitening.  No one’s allowed to outshine the bride on her special day.”

Finally, after obsessing over the smallest minutiae (i.e., the groomsmen's buttonholes) and dragging the bridesmaids to 3 consecutive weekends of dress shopping, Mandy said “Yes” to a pricey $10,500 dress.  To offset its cost, she suggested the bridesmaids ‘pitch in’ for the gown.

On the morning of the wedding, Shannon received a shockingly-detailed itinerary of how to behave, with notes like "9:52am: Compliment the bride on how beautiful she looks today."

Three months later, Mandy defaulted on the final payment on both the food and venue bills.  She couldn’t afford them - divorce lawyers were costing her a fortune.

The wedding industry has long associated lavish weddings with longer-lasting marriages.   But several research studies actually show just the opposite: an inverse relationship between spending and marital success.

Extravagant weddings often distract from the hard work of spiritually preparing for marriage.  The event’s focus should be on Christ - not on the flowers, the location or the party.  Not surprisingly, our secular society has twisted this around; it’s often as if the marriage is an after-thought; Christ doesn’t even make it on the guest list sometimes.

Christian weddings are known for their simplicity.  It’s easy to get lost in all the details and forget the two most important reasons for Christian weddings – the solemn vows to each other and the covenant relationship between the couple with Christ.

Lord bless this couple with love and hope as they begin their journey down the road of life together.  Keep alive forever the vows they pledge to You and each other.  Bless their dreams and visions, and keep them always safe.  Amen

Two (2) Kind

 “Doing good and sharing with others pleases God." ~ Hebrews 13:16

Retirement was never an option for Daniel and Kathleen.  It wasn't that they never worked.  The two worked so hard sometimes they wondered if their love for each other even mattered.

And it wasn’t as if they never saved.  They did!  They tried to put a little something aside every month ...  until tragedy struck. 

On her way to school one morning, their daughter Raina was hit by a car and suffered traumatic brain damage.   Recovery, both gradual and challenging, had no clear endpoint.  As she began to slowly progress, her deficits became more apparent.

Everything she had learned since pre-K was gone.  At fifteen, she needed physiotherapy, speech therapy, intensive lessons from specialists – and that was just the basics.  The list of recommended treatments went on for pages.  After her hospital discharge nothing was free.

So, when a friend sent Daniel a restaurant gift card captioned “Just Because!” they picked a beautiful fall afternoon to use it.  It felt so good, so normal, so humbling taking his wife to a nice sit-down restaurant instead of the fast food places they usually only had time for.  The meal was delicious.  Spending alone time with Kathleen felt like fresh, new love - no filter, no expectations, only acceptance.

When the waitress brought the check, Daniel looked down at it.  The gift card covered almost all of it.  Reaching into his wallet to get enough cash to cover the rest, he pulled out two bills.  The first would cover the rest of the bill and give the waitress a generous tip.  The second was much larger; meant for emergencies.

His mind immediately flashed back 30 years.  He worked as a busboy in a restaurant much like this one – long hours, low pay, no benefits.  Great for the owner – Daniel was a bargain.

He remembered how he often saw the waitresses counting their meager tips; worrying about how they were going to pay the rent and buy their kids the things they needed.  He remembered the pain in their eyes and saw the sadness in their faces at the end of the day.

Daniel smiled, picked out the much larger bill, folded it around the gift card and left it with the check on the table.   He left the table with a smile and a happy heart.

We are all one family in this world.  We are all children of the same God.  We live together, rejoice together, and suffer together. 

As John Wesley said, “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can… especially in these difficult times of short tempers.

Almighty Father, in this time of national upheaval, outrage, and fear, help us as individuals, congregations and communities to act as You acted on earth: kind, humble compassionate and always seeking ways to help others.  Amen

Landslide

 “Here I am, standing at the door knocking." ~ Revelation 3:20

From behind, it could be her.  But when the young woman dressed in filthy, time-worn clothing doubled over from the cough that seemed to be getting worse with every passing day, he knew.

The daughter of a local businessman - sold heroin, stole electronics, and ran from a myriad of abusive relationships.  At night she slept in abandoned buildings and begged for spare change during the day.

“Jesse?” he spoke somberly.  “It’s me … Dad.”

“Leave me alone,” Jesse replied.  Now her father stood before her, offering what he’d proffered from the day she was born - a chance at a better life.

“But, Jess, why do you insist on living such a hazardous lifestyle,” he questioned.  I worry about what your addiction is doing to your health … physically and mentally.”

She heard the pain in his voice.  Yet she stubbornly shook her head.  “I didn’t ask for your help,” she repeated.  “I like the way things are!” silently confessing a battle not to lose hope.

“But just last week,” he reminded, “you complained about going to sleep hungry; about how miserable life can be in the rain.”

Jesse paused considering those points.  True, life on the streets could get depressing.  But this was the only life she knew!  She’d rather complain even while ignoring the solution that awaited her.

“I can’t change, Father,” Jesse said in a voice barely above a whisper.  “I’m too set in my ways.  Its hopeless!  I tried several times, but I keep coming back to the streets.  I just can’t help it!”

“Oh, but you can!” he pleaded.  “I’ll help you!  Come live with me.  I promise you a better, healthier and more productive life,” extending his hand; inviting her to join him.

Jesse shook her head. “I just can’t,” she repeated, her spirit broken.

“You can’t, or won’t?”  The question always haunted her; she made no reply.  Jesse simply turned and walked away.  With the eyes that could cry no more, she gazed out at the street where people hustled to make their living and she worried that her light had gone out.

Her Father forced back the tears as He watched her disappear.  He’d return again tomorrow and every day after that.  Maybe someday she’d be ready to accept His love.  He’ll never give up!

Sometimes life can feel like a landslide; when you feel like can no longer hold it together. 

People can change, but we can’t change ourselves any more than a drowning person can save him or her self.  We need help, encouragement, a healthier vision.

The problem - not the answer - lies within.   The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart.  Even so, God can change our hearts from the inside.  His door is always open.

Lord, I know that without You I cannot change, but I know that I can do all things, including changing my attitude, through Christ who gives me the strength.  Thank You, for Your everlasting grace towards me.  Amen

Rail Ways

 “Fix your gaze straight ahead, keep your focus on Him." ~ Proverbs 4:25

Ariella loved to walk … without a specific purpose … until her legs tired.  In such a fast-paced and proficiency driven world, that idea seemed counter-intuitive to most; a complete waste of time.  Living life had become all about doing, without much thought for simply being.

But for Ariella, these meanderings gave her the most fortuitous moments.  She often came across ‘hidden’ secrets or creative ideas; things she might’ve missed had she any specific destination.

Today Ariella took her usual time, savoring the sound of birdsongs, wind noises brushing through the trees, even the sound of her own footsteps trampling the ground.  Scanning the horizon for a new adventure, she spotted a set of railroad tracks. 

She let her mind imagine the earth trembling as coal cars stretching beyond the horizon rumbled by.  Or maybe empty box cars rattling in the rain.  She even pictured herself as a hobo whose personal freedom ranked well ahead of any ambition for worldly gain.

Ariella hopped up trying to balance herself on a single rail.  They were both narrow and slippery.  She slid off immediately.

Undeterred, she tried holding her arms out and watching her feet as she walked.  Wobbling, she fell off after only a few steps.  She made several similarly unsuccessful attempts before falling off and scraping her knee.

It was only when she started looking ahead, far down the tracks, that she could walk the rail.  Keeping her eyes forward with one foot in front of the other, Ariella soon walked with confidence.  Minus any other sort of stimulation - no talking, audiobooks or music, an unexpected life lesson came to mind.

You can’t go through life, she thought, watching and fretting about every step you take or choice you make. That second guessing often leads you off the rails.  Looking behind is even worse.  You can’t see the path ahead with your eyes on the past.  You can only stand still; stuck in your regrets.

It’s only when you look ahead that you can really move forward, envisioning the life you want to lead, the love you want to share, and the light you want to shine.  Then each step you take and every choice you make is filled with love, compassion and humility.

When you’re in the middle of life’s storms, it can be hard to find the strength you need to keep going.  And when a friend, a loved one, or family member faces trials, it’s difficult to know how to encourage them.

So, keep your eyes forward, seeing with our hearts the life we want to live.  We all need to take each other’s hands and walk the path of love together, knowing that God is by our side with each step we take.

Lord Almighty, help me to keep my eyes focused ahead; trusting You even when the way forward seems filled with uncertainty.  Lead me in Your righteousness; make Your way directly before my eyes.  Amen